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<blockquote data-quote="lovingmum96" data-source="post: 361705"><p>Yes, you are absolutely right about allowing difficult child to go live with her dad; the only reason we (thanks to husband, who has a grown child with special needs) are hanging on. We are sure from the level of aggression that difficult child has something going on that would not be treated if she lived with her dad, which would lead to all sorts of repercussions later in life. </p><p> </p><p>If she goes to him though, it's not likely she will be back. He's not much into truth (insists she is fine with him, and literally just makes up stuff which the overwhelmed court folks can't/won't sort through), plus he earns something like $400 k a year (tons more than us). For years he controlled my finances by inflating legal bills until finally I just said I'm not having legal representation -- didn't do any good anyway (once our judge made me sign a completely blank passport application in open court because claimed I wouldn't cooperate). After that, and a completely ineffective parenting facilitator ($$$$$$), I decided the legal route's not the way to go. My seasoned attorney said this is the worst case she's seen. Sigh. Can't do much with someone that's really not interested in resolving the issues, which is what my lawyer said. </p><p> </p><p>sadly, difficult child is acting just like ex spouse difficult child. We are trying our best to hang in there until she is evaluated. We are sure he had/has stuff going on and that apparent difficult child has too. She will have a lifetime of suffering if we can't put her on a path to healing and this is our last big effort to find out what's going on (it's always fraught with tension/ problems dealing with ex.....for goodness sake, what's the problem with just getting an evaluation?????) . If we are not able to help her though, it's time to let her go. But not quite yet.</p><p> </p><p>thanks. It really helps --</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovingmum96, post: 361705"] Yes, you are absolutely right about allowing difficult child to go live with her dad; the only reason we (thanks to husband, who has a grown child with special needs) are hanging on. We are sure from the level of aggression that difficult child has something going on that would not be treated if she lived with her dad, which would lead to all sorts of repercussions later in life. If she goes to him though, it's not likely she will be back. He's not much into truth (insists she is fine with him, and literally just makes up stuff which the overwhelmed court folks can't/won't sort through), plus he earns something like $400 k a year (tons more than us). For years he controlled my finances by inflating legal bills until finally I just said I'm not having legal representation -- didn't do any good anyway (once our judge made me sign a completely blank passport application in open court because claimed I wouldn't cooperate). After that, and a completely ineffective parenting facilitator ($$$$$$), I decided the legal route's not the way to go. My seasoned attorney said this is the worst case she's seen. Sigh. Can't do much with someone that's really not interested in resolving the issues, which is what my lawyer said. sadly, difficult child is acting just like ex spouse difficult child. We are trying our best to hang in there until she is evaluated. We are sure he had/has stuff going on and that apparent difficult child has too. She will have a lifetime of suffering if we can't put her on a path to healing and this is our last big effort to find out what's going on (it's always fraught with tension/ problems dealing with ex.....for goodness sake, what's the problem with just getting an evaluation?????) . If we are not able to help her though, it's time to let her go. But not quite yet. thanks. It really helps -- [/QUOTE]
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