lost friends

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Liahona, Jan 21, 2007.

  1. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    For the first time difficult child 1 has lost friends because of his melt downs. He can normally keep himself together in front of others but the last day of school he had a major meltdown coming home from school. husband was also taking difficult child's friends home. They live next door to us. difficult child was screaming his head off on the drive home. They haven't played with him since. I thought it was because of Christmas business, but Friday I called to ask if difficult child could play. He couldn't becuase someone was sick. I asked if his friend could come over here. The mom would rather that they play tommorrow when the sick person wasn't there and said they would get difficult child about 10 am. 11 am Saturday difficult child calls and is told that they can't play until 4 pm because they are cleaning and taking naps. Right before 4 pm I notice that they've been outside playing. They never come over; never ask difficult child to come play. I wish the mom would just tell me she doesn't want them playing together. I understand that this would be hard to say to someone though. I understand why she doesn't want her kids playing with difficult child. I understand why the kids wouldn't want to play with him. It just a sad situation. I don't want difficult child's feeling hurt. We went out to get an ice cream cone to distract him from playing with his friends. Eventually I'm going to have to tell him that they don't want to play with him, but, oh am I dreading it.

    On a happier note its easy child's 1st birthday today! As I was starting to type this difficult child 2 was spitting raisins at easy child. easy child was giggling each time he'd get hit with one, and then he'd eat it. The cute joys of baby hood.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Happy Birthday easy child!! God, they're so cute at that age. :biggrin:

    Losing friends is a toughy. T couldn't keep them, and it had nothing to do with rages. :frown: In some ways I was grateful it didn't seem to bother him much. Still doesn't.
    N did have trouble because of her rages. But if it bothered her she never let on.

    Both of mine are pretty much *walk their own path* types.

    I wouldn't rush to tell difficult child the kids don't want to play. There is always a chance with kids it'll be forgotten in a few days or weeks. Natural consequences sure can stink when your little.

  3. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I know how you feel. My difficult child has burned quite a few bridges in our neighborhood too. The difficult child always forgets what happened but the other kids don't. :9-07tears:

  4. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I'm sorry that the neighbors didn't ring the bell for difficult child. It is so hard seeing difficult child being left out. Hang in there...give it some time....hopefully they will be friends again.

    We've had two pretty big issues with neighbors...one worked out after a month or so and the boys are now playing nicely together...the other never really improved again, but life goes on.

    Hang in there...
  5. Liahona

    Liahona Active Member

    Thanks guys. No, I'm not going to rush to tell difficult child 1. He only asks to play with friends sometimes, so I'm going to try to steer him towards other friends. He is smart enough that when they do this again and again he'll pick up that they don't want to play. And it'll hurt him. Hopefully he'll get involved with his other friends enough that by the time he puts two and two together it won't hurt as much.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Aww that's a tough one. I'm hoping he makes some new friends soon.

    Happy late birthday to easy child!