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Lost my way-need advice!
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 498852" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Also, read this:</p><p><a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/" target="_blank">Developing Detachment | LIVESTRONG.COM</a></p><p></p><p>Let it sink in, then re-read it. </p><p></p><p>My therapist has a saying, when I am becoming too enmeshed in Youngest's problems again. She says, "you're working harder than she is." And she's right. This is his problem to solve, not yours. Why should you help him over and over, or even make suggestions to him, draining your emotional, physical and financial resources, when he's not willing to do any of the work? You have your own life to live, your own recovery to work on. You can't help him change this, only he can do that. And you *must* protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>I know it hurts, it just breaks your heart. It feels unnatural to walk away from your child when he's in "need." But it's absolutely necessary sometimes. Dion't go through it alone. please keep posting here, but also, find a support group and/or therapist for yourself. It takes a lot of work to get through it, and is a process.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 498852, member: 1157"] Also, read this: [url=http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/]Developing Detachment | LIVESTRONG.COM[/url] Let it sink in, then re-read it. My therapist has a saying, when I am becoming too enmeshed in Youngest's problems again. She says, "you're working harder than she is." And she's right. This is his problem to solve, not yours. Why should you help him over and over, or even make suggestions to him, draining your emotional, physical and financial resources, when he's not willing to do any of the work? You have your own life to live, your own recovery to work on. You can't help him change this, only he can do that. And you *must* protect yourself. I know it hurts, it just breaks your heart. It feels unnatural to walk away from your child when he's in "need." But it's absolutely necessary sometimes. Dion't go through it alone. please keep posting here, but also, find a support group and/or therapist for yourself. It takes a lot of work to get through it, and is a process. [/QUOTE]
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