V has been lying on a daily basis. Taken one by one, so far nothing big. A lot of food stuff like pretending to eat and feeding it to the chickens instead, hiding stuff (glasses, flashlights, shoes, etc) and denying it, etc... The accumulation is annoying to say the least. Specially when the child cannot lie and has a big grin on his face which gives him away every time. Now, when he is caught in a lie he tries to hide his face and goes into drama mode "WHY! You always accuse me!!" blablabla.
I'm sure I will laugh about it one day (actually did already when I had to tell husband): Partner lost his front tooth couple days ago. I set the tooth on a small tray on the kitchen counter. Later that day, Partner bring his little box where he keeps his baby teeth and asks me where the fallen tooth is. It is not on the tray and I ask "who took the tooth?" not looking at anyone in particular. V points at Sweet Pea right away... hum... That's impossile because the counter is the height of a bar and way to high for Sweet Pea. V is smilling... I ask V if he touched the tooth. He proceeds to yell and goes into drama mode. At which point he screams "No! I did not eat his tooth!". What??? Ate it??? V still denies it, but I can actually pisture him "trying" his brother's tooth and then oops! So anyway, Partner is mad because V ate his tooth... I'm mad because of the lie but still hard not to laugh, specially when V blurts out the truth without meaning to.
Now, tonight was another story. There is a baby gate n front of the stairs going into the basement. It is secured with some special tension screws that you turn until it is so tight that the gate can't move. VERY strong and safe. A few months back, V had been messing with it and it collapse as I intended to open the gate. After denying any responsibility a couple times V then admited to it, in tears, saying that he did not realize it would fall. Ok, he gets lectured about not doing it again for safety reasons and we move on. We did explain that sweet Pea could have gotten really hurt.
Tonight, the gate falls again, same way. I look at V as I see the loose tension screws.... V still won't admit it! Now that is plain dangerous!! And I'm furious.
Little white lies are one thing, but we can't mess with safety...
And there is always that what if... what if he is not guilty... But how can I believe him when telling story is becoming second nature?
How do you encourage telling the truth? I've had talks about it with him but I can't seem to get through to him.
Punish for misbehaving and reward for telling the truth? Double punish for misbehaving and lying? Taking the chance of accusing him and making a mistake?
Right now, I get mad, he cries and nothing good comes out of it.
I'm sure I will laugh about it one day (actually did already when I had to tell husband): Partner lost his front tooth couple days ago. I set the tooth on a small tray on the kitchen counter. Later that day, Partner bring his little box where he keeps his baby teeth and asks me where the fallen tooth is. It is not on the tray and I ask "who took the tooth?" not looking at anyone in particular. V points at Sweet Pea right away... hum... That's impossile because the counter is the height of a bar and way to high for Sweet Pea. V is smilling... I ask V if he touched the tooth. He proceeds to yell and goes into drama mode. At which point he screams "No! I did not eat his tooth!". What??? Ate it??? V still denies it, but I can actually pisture him "trying" his brother's tooth and then oops! So anyway, Partner is mad because V ate his tooth... I'm mad because of the lie but still hard not to laugh, specially when V blurts out the truth without meaning to.
Now, tonight was another story. There is a baby gate n front of the stairs going into the basement. It is secured with some special tension screws that you turn until it is so tight that the gate can't move. VERY strong and safe. A few months back, V had been messing with it and it collapse as I intended to open the gate. After denying any responsibility a couple times V then admited to it, in tears, saying that he did not realize it would fall. Ok, he gets lectured about not doing it again for safety reasons and we move on. We did explain that sweet Pea could have gotten really hurt.
Tonight, the gate falls again, same way. I look at V as I see the loose tension screws.... V still won't admit it! Now that is plain dangerous!! And I'm furious.
Little white lies are one thing, but we can't mess with safety...
And there is always that what if... what if he is not guilty... But how can I believe him when telling story is becoming second nature?
How do you encourage telling the truth? I've had talks about it with him but I can't seem to get through to him.
Punish for misbehaving and reward for telling the truth? Double punish for misbehaving and lying? Taking the chance of accusing him and making a mistake?
Right now, I get mad, he cries and nothing good comes out of it.