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<blockquote data-quote="cakewalk" data-source="post: 289858" data-attributes="member: 7060"><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Thanks! I WISH I had found this site two years ago. I would have done so much differently. It's your combined advice and ideas, along with Suz continuing to post the detachment link, that gave me the idea in the first place. And, yes, he knows I will do as I say. That's why he continued to run away to my sister's house. There are consequences for behavior in this home (and out of it.)</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">My child needs counseling especially now. He's being rewarded and financially supported by my sister instead of having rules and consequences. They are quite the enablers, not to mention she and I don't get along and it's less about my son and more about her versus me.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I can only hope that the counselor will see through any facade. I don't see an immediate relationship with my son (his aunt and uncle doesn't encourage it at all and he has all but forgotten his brother, my husband, and I), however, I do know that he needs to learn to cope, deal, and act responsibly as an adult and I only have legal say for 9 more months. Whatever happens, I am doing what I think is best for him.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">He's a talented, gifted athlete and his grades are important if he has a chance towards a dual athletic/acedemic scholarship. His sport is his ticket. He knows it. He and I have spent 11 lyears developing him to the player he is. </span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">We went to counseling today. He initiated conversation the entire drive. He conversed in the waiting room with me. He held the door for me today when I was called to the payment window. (Last week I heard the therapist chastise him for letting the door slam in my face!) On the way home, he was talkative and kind. In fact, we laughed a couple of times.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">Hours later he called for the first time in five months to share something with me without an ulterior motive. He called to tell me his ACT test scores just came and he improved his grade by five points. I told him, "I'm proud of you. Good job. But, mostly I'm proud of you for calling to share that with me."</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="color: #0f2637"><span style="font-family: 'Verdana'">I'm not reading anymore into this than what it is, but if a handful of counseling sessions are morphing my son back to human being, I'll gladly continue down this road for the duration.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cakewalk, post: 289858, member: 7060"] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]Thanks! I WISH I had found this site two years ago. I would have done so much differently. It's your combined advice and ideas, along with Suz continuing to post the detachment link, that gave me the idea in the first place. And, yes, he knows I will do as I say. That's why he continued to run away to my sister's house. There are consequences for behavior in this home (and out of it.)[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]My child needs counseling especially now. He's being rewarded and financially supported by my sister instead of having rules and consequences. They are quite the enablers, not to mention she and I don't get along and it's less about my son and more about her versus me.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]I can only hope that the counselor will see through any facade. I don't see an immediate relationship with my son (his aunt and uncle doesn't encourage it at all and he has all but forgotten his brother, my husband, and I), however, I do know that he needs to learn to cope, deal, and act responsibly as an adult and I only have legal say for 9 more months. Whatever happens, I am doing what I think is best for him.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]He's a talented, gifted athlete and his grades are important if he has a chance towards a dual athletic/acedemic scholarship. His sport is his ticket. He knows it. He and I have spent 11 lyears developing him to the player he is. [/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]We went to counseling today. He initiated conversation the entire drive. He conversed in the waiting room with me. He held the door for me today when I was called to the payment window. (Last week I heard the therapist chastise him for letting the door slam in my face!) On the way home, he was talkative and kind. In fact, we laughed a couple of times.[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]Hours later he called for the first time in five months to share something with me without an ulterior motive. He called to tell me his ACT test scores just came and he improved his grade by five points. I told him, "I'm proud of you. Good job. But, mostly I'm proud of you for calling to share that with me."[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0f2637][FONT=Verdana]I'm not reading anymore into this than what it is, but if a handful of counseling sessions are morphing my son back to human being, I'll gladly continue down this road for the duration.[/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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