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<blockquote data-quote="Stella Johnson" data-source="post: 59126" data-attributes="member: 9"><p>I'm a divorced mom and have been since difficult child was 1. Keep in mind that the grass is always greener on the other side. </p><p></p><p>If your husband is the only one who can care for the kids while you work and go to school, what is your plan if you do get him out? </p><p>It isn't easy by any means. My difficult child was kicked out of every day care in our area when she was younger. Now she is manageable but it used to be a nightmare. </p><p></p><p>So, whatever you are paying now add childcare costs to that. I was broke for years and barely scraping by until difficult child got a little older. </p><p></p><p>I can totally understand being irate when you come home after a long day of school and work to find husband in bed. It would eat at me as well. I would probably lose it. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like he is depressed. Normal ppl don't spend that much time sleeping. If you get him out, this may get worse and you will be able to count on him even less with the children. My ex disappeared for 4 or 5 years after our divorce. Started doing drugs and was living on the street. Hence, no child support. </p><p></p><p>Now, on the flip side I am the only parent so what I say goes. There is no one to argue with me on what is best for difficult child. I only have one person to care for and I don't have to worry about taking care of a grown up child any longer. </p><p></p><p>As far as getting him out, you really need a lawyer. Every state is different. Changing the locks may do no good. He owns part of the house and could just call a locksmith. </p><p></p><p>Divorce sounds good right now but it is not. Even an amicable divorce is hard emotionally. If it ends up an all out war like mine did it can drive you into the ground. I was so close to completely going out of my mind when mine was going on that it took years before my head was screwed on straight again. </p><p></p><p>Don't make any rash decisions. This is a big deal. Think long and hard before you do anything.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p>Steph</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella Johnson, post: 59126, member: 9"] I'm a divorced mom and have been since difficult child was 1. Keep in mind that the grass is always greener on the other side. If your husband is the only one who can care for the kids while you work and go to school, what is your plan if you do get him out? It isn't easy by any means. My difficult child was kicked out of every day care in our area when she was younger. Now she is manageable but it used to be a nightmare. So, whatever you are paying now add childcare costs to that. I was broke for years and barely scraping by until difficult child got a little older. I can totally understand being irate when you come home after a long day of school and work to find husband in bed. It would eat at me as well. I would probably lose it. It sounds like he is depressed. Normal ppl don't spend that much time sleeping. If you get him out, this may get worse and you will be able to count on him even less with the children. My ex disappeared for 4 or 5 years after our divorce. Started doing drugs and was living on the street. Hence, no child support. Now, on the flip side I am the only parent so what I say goes. There is no one to argue with me on what is best for difficult child. I only have one person to care for and I don't have to worry about taking care of a grown up child any longer. As far as getting him out, you really need a lawyer. Every state is different. Changing the locks may do no good. He owns part of the house and could just call a locksmith. Divorce sounds good right now but it is not. Even an amicable divorce is hard emotionally. If it ends up an all out war like mine did it can drive you into the ground. I was so close to completely going out of my mind when mine was going on that it took years before my head was screwed on straight again. Don't make any rash decisions. This is a big deal. Think long and hard before you do anything. (((hugs))) Steph [/QUOTE]
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