I need some guidance on dealing with a recurring behavior pattern. It has to do with manster twisting a situation to make himself the victim. For example, last night I was upstairs on the computer, taking some much needed "me time" while manster and his friend S played downstairs. They were loud and having fun and I'd check on them occasionally but apparently missed the fact that they were playing with water balloons in the house. So when I realized what they'd done I yelled at them and refused to listen to his words trying to justify his actions. He got all snippy and quiet after S went home and showed me the computer. He had written me this email about how I always yell at him but I never yell at husband when he's being mean to him. WHAT?! Apparently husband had said something earlier that hurt his feelings. It was nothing, really, just something that he magnified in his mind over husband not turning on the heater in the car because manster said he was cold. by the way it was about 78 degrees. So anyway this email said that I had to make a choice to spread my love equally between husband and him because all he got from me was my hatrid (that's how he spelled it). Now remember, all this was because he got yelled at for playing with water in the house. It's amazing the command of language (spelling excepted) that he has. It was very convincing and had I not realized what he was doing I would have felt extremely sorry for him. As it was I was drawn in and spent time reassuring him about how much he is loved. Can we say skkr lol. husband and I agreed we were being triangulated. How do I reign these situations back in to concentrate on the moment? He gets himself so worked up and genuinely feels whatever emotion he's reached for. Now keep in mind, husband and I have been together/married since manster was 4so it's not a new thing. I acknowledge that yelling doesn't work. It only triggers him and I have to do better with my approach. But I also know had I calmly told S she had to go home as a consequence the meltdown would have also followed. Maybe I can't avoid these meltdowns and just have to learn to live with them better. I don't know, I just thought I'd throw it out there to see if any of you have any thoughts or suggestions. Thanks!