marital problems from stress

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ginny Graves, Aug 12, 2009.

  1. Ginny Graves

    Ginny Graves New Member

    I'm writing an article for Parenting magazine about the toll that raising a child with a ADHD, autism or another conduct disorder can take on your marriage. Recent studies show that parents of children with ADHD are more likely to get divorced, so we conceived this story as a sympathetic view of how tough it can be to raise a challenging child. I'm looking for parents who would be willing to speak openly and honestly about their marital woes that have resulted from the stress of parenting as well as the strategies that they've come up with to keep their marriages together.
     
  2. compassion

    compassion Member

    Ask away. My e-mail is circlove@juno.com I have two teens, one with bipolar the other ADD. Compassion
     
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Not to be a spoil sport because I would be interested in participating also but has this request been cleared with the mods?

    If so, feel free to PM me for more info.
     
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ditto Mustang Chic. I would be more than happy to give you marital woes, as well as professional woes (do you know how hard it is to keep a job (that you desperately need because of the health insurance it provides) when you are constantly leaving work because of your kid???) Guess that piles onto the marital woes, too...
    pm me, too, if the mods have cleared this.
     
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too would like to double check that this post has been double checked with- the mods.

    Folks, including mental health professionals, tell me all the time that they are amazed at the health of the relationship between my husband and myself even though we have an adopted difficult child. I am now studying myself to be a mental health professional (master's level student).

    If the moderators have approved of this post...please feel free to pm me.

    A.
     
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Same here - PM me for more info, if the mods are cool with it. However, where are you based? Are you wanting people only from the US, or would other countries also be relevant for you?

    For husband & me, our marriage is solid but it takes a lot of hard work constantly. The biggest management strategy is communication. Then comes cooperation and teamwork; then humour. You can't have humour without the rest because then you have chaos and humour turns to hysteria and panic.

    We've found this site has been invaluable for all of the above, especially when both partners either lurk here or contribute.

    It's still not a bed of roses, we still have problems to deal with on a daily basis, but if we weren't working together we would be struggling much more with our children.

    If the difficult child is adopted, then to a certian extent it's easier to not take any 'blame' personally. But when it's your bio child, there is always a sense of "where did this come form? Whose genes are responsible?" which can also get in the way of a good relationship between partners. In our family, we have taken the position that there is genetic input from both sides, probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) from both sides, so we can't use the "He's YOUR kid!" in any way. They're OUR kids, we both contributed equally. Along with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) contribution from both sides of the family, there is also genius input form both sides.

    Good with the bad. No blame, no comparisons. Just a need to cope as a team, from day to day.

    As I said - PM me if it all is OK.

    Marg
     
  7. midwestdad

    midwestdad Lost

    I agree with all the others, that this stress puts exponential stress on a marriage. I'd be happy to discuss if you want to PM me.
     
  8. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Having been a single mom since my kids were little, and once difficult child's issues became known, I knew that I wouldn't even consider remarrying until my kids were grown. I knew I couldn't handle the stress that would ensue.
     
  9. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    The mods are aware of Ginny's request. I have reviewed some of her previous work and feel confident that her efforts will produce an article that will be of interest to our community.

    If anyone has any questions or concerns feel free to send me a pm.
     
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ginny, since you have been approved by the mods, please PM me and I'd be glad to share with you.

    I tried to PM you, but it's disabled! ;)
     
  11. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I don't think she can PM until she's had more posts under her belt.
     
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ohhh... Weird. I could pm right away???
     
  13. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Thanks Cheryl!

    Ginny...I am interested in participating. My email is my screen name at yahoo.com.
     
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm interested in participating as well. PM me for my email.
     
  15. Ginny Graves

    Ginny Graves New Member

    Sorry All -

    Many thanks for your responses. I've been trying to figure out the private messaging system, but it appears I'm not allowed to do that yet. I'll contact someone and see if I can remedy the situation....
     
  16. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Sorry Ginny, that was my fault. Your PMs are enabled now.

    I forgot to enable them when I approved your request :redface:
     
  17. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Ginny, I replied before when I said we're not from the US. But in case you are still able to use us from Down Under - both my husband and myself are members of this site, he will see the thread and add his own response, I am sure.

    Marg
     
  18. Marg's Man

    Marg's Man Member

    PM me also Ginny

    Marg's Man
     
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