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<blockquote data-quote="april1974" data-source="post: 435941" data-attributes="member: 12128"><p>thanks, we don't dirty fight, never have, once in awhile I'll say "you'r being an a**hole" but we aren't mudslingers, when we fight it's usually when the kids are wired, not listening, I start to yell husband tells me not to yell and then I get frustrated, he gets frustrated and it's just a big mess, most times it is me that needs to appologize so I do, the next day or later that night, if I think he's in the wrong I will talk to him later once we are cooled and I'm pretty good at asking for what I need I will say "I think you owe me an appology because xxx or yyyy" and husband is really good at listening in that moment and saying he's sorry and then he will tell me how he feels. Usually I try to put myself in his shoes but I also ask him to put himself in my shoes.</p><p> </p><p>To be honest alot of times things run smoother when it's just me, but I have to let go of some of my type A personality traits and pick my battles, I'm always telling husband "pick your battles" because he can get nit picky with the boys and I get protective of them and then it causes a fight and husband says he's confused and isn't sure what he's supposed to be doing because I have undermined him in the past in front of the boys<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/916blusher.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":916blusher:" title="blushing :916blusher:" data-shortname=":916blusher:" /> I know WRONG thing to do, and I say I'm sorry and now I realy really try hard not to do that, but to pull husband aside and say xyz in private.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="april1974, post: 435941, member: 12128"] thanks, we don't dirty fight, never have, once in awhile I'll say "you'r being an a**hole" but we aren't mudslingers, when we fight it's usually when the kids are wired, not listening, I start to yell husband tells me not to yell and then I get frustrated, he gets frustrated and it's just a big mess, most times it is me that needs to appologize so I do, the next day or later that night, if I think he's in the wrong I will talk to him later once we are cooled and I'm pretty good at asking for what I need I will say "I think you owe me an appology because xxx or yyyy" and husband is really good at listening in that moment and saying he's sorry and then he will tell me how he feels. Usually I try to put myself in his shoes but I also ask him to put himself in my shoes. To be honest alot of times things run smoother when it's just me, but I have to let go of some of my type A personality traits and pick my battles, I'm always telling husband "pick your battles" because he can get nit picky with the boys and I get protective of them and then it causes a fight and husband says he's confused and isn't sure what he's supposed to be doing because I have undermined him in the past in front of the boys:blusher: I know WRONG thing to do, and I say I'm sorry and now I realy really try hard not to do that, but to pull husband aside and say xyz in private. [/QUOTE]
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