may turn difficult child over to foster...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by katattak, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. katattak

    katattak New Member

    difficult child has dragged us through the mud, and thrown salt in the wound. we are at our wits end. has anyone turned a child over to foster care? difficult child is in treatment center now (that we can't afford) insurance coverage is a daily worry.and we are terrified of him coming back to the house.
    even in treatment, difficult child is manipulating everyone and is not changing. difficult child doesn't even want us to visit or go to family sessions and refuses to call us.

    help!
     
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hi kat. There are parents here that can help you who have done that. Just wanted to drop in and welcome you in the meantime.
     
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I was a foster mom. I didn't give my kids to foster care, but am thinking that if you can't handle your child, it's possible nobody else will want to keep him/her for very long either. Lots of teens end up being tossed from foster to foster. Also, i believe you have to pay child support, but not 100% sure.

    How old is he and has he been in trouble with the police yet? Can the courts help you find a place for him?
     
  4. katattak

    katattak New Member

    Thanks. State is involved, difficult child has guardian ad litem who knows child's history and life with his bio mom. child would likely end up in a boys home, which would be safer for him and us. we've done more then everything, but have to start thinking about safety of the 2 year old.
     
  5. katattak

    katattak New Member

    yes, also trouble with the police.
    we are waiting for conference call with his Guardian ad litem to find out what more help we can get.

    running out of money, although that would never stop us from trying everything we can. Unfortunately I am losing my mind and scared for 2 year old.
     
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Have you looked into this program? It funds residential care for a small subset of mentally ill children in your state. If he qualifies, the state funds the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but you maintain your parental rights.

    http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=33652
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed that you have a good GAL who can help. Sending hugs. DDD
     
  8. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    We were considering doing the same with our difficult child but the CMO worker talked us out of it. He said we would lose all parental rights. I'm not quite to that point yet but I'm seriously considering sending him back to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I have major guilt about this since he was already in one for 4 years but since he came home in May our life has been a living hell. He steals, lies, manipulates and won't take no for an answer!
     
  9. katattak

    katattak New Member

    The insurance just approved a little more time at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Working with his GAL and our lawyer to find out what the next step could be.Hope the GAL has some idea to help.... Otherwise he's off to foster and declared incorrigible.
     
  10. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    We were forced to give temporary custody to state because we had spent all our money on a private Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 18 months and our daughter came out worse than ever. The only path here is if you get before a judge. We turned her in for everything. I now regret it. Our girl has a background of abuse and this sytem has just handed one abuse after another to her. It's a tough decision and in our case we had no choice because she was not keeping herself safe she would probably be dead by now. It becomes a trade off. There are no perfect answers. When the safety of your family becomes a concern, sometimes you have no other choice. There are moms here who have had good things happen in the system. I think it's good you hear from them as well. A giant hug to you and I know how your heart is feeling.
     
  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Just sending support to you and hoping your GAL can assist in a way that benefits everyone.
     
  12. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    good luck, just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you.

    Something I've done to keep my other kids safe from difficult child 1 was to make him a shadow. Where he has to be in my sight at all times. I don't know how old your difficult child is, so I don't know if this'll work for you. Also, others have pointed out to me that most times it takes a difficult child more than one stay at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) before it'll help. My difficult child 1 got out of an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Feb.
     
  13. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thinking of you! How hard. I know that if you do give custody of your child to the state, than you do lose all rights. You, I believe are allowed to visit, and he would still consider you his parents, but you have absolutely no say so about what they do, or how they handle situations with your son.

    Are there any uncles, relatives, passionate friends that would take him for awhile? Sometimes a new face, especially a male that can be an authoritarian, can do wonders.
     
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