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maybe a little Occupational Therapist (OT) - how much makeup for 13 yo?
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<blockquote data-quote="Running_for_the_shelter" data-source="post: 455037" data-attributes="member: 2960"><p>I remember wearing green and blue shiny, creamy, nasty eyeshadow in middle school. Not both colors at the same time, although, honestly, I don't know that it really would have looked worse. My mother didn't really wear make-up -- she did that weird 50's red red red lipstick and messed with her brows and that was about it. [Yeah, she was caught in a time warp or something.] Anyway, I knew she wasn't going to be much help for me, so I created a really awful look. </p><p></p><p>Every difficult child is different, but I wish someone had helped me think through what was I trying to do. Had I been asked, I would have said, Everyone wears this, but it wasn't true. Many girls didn't wear any make-up at all. I think I had the idea that it was going to make me look prettier -- although not an attractive young teen, I wasn't so horrible that shiny green eyeshadow was an improvement.</p><p></p><p>I've told my daughter that when she wants to wear make-up to let me know and I'll show her how to do it right. That young people often don't understand that subtle is better and put too much on. That the idea is to enhance your own looks and that if people notice the make-up, you've really put on too much. Weirdly, some young girls think that they are making themselves more attractive to boys -- not the case. They are really wearing it for other girls, mostly to get their approval and to show they "fit in" with them. Nothing like everyone looking like a sad, sickly raccoon to validate your technique with cosmetics! </p><p></p><p>Daughter is going into 8th grade (I need to update my signature!). No make-up is actually allowed at this point. I expect I'll show her how within the year. A little lip gloss and a little mascara would be OK soon; eyeliner is iffy because it's hard to do right. It is very hard to explain to a teen who wants to cover up acne that putting make-up over it will really make it worse. </p><p></p><p>One approach that works with some girls is to explain that there is a huge difference between fashion and style. Heavy black eyeliner on a blonde is fashion, not style. Most girls really want to have their own personal style but have no idea what that really means. A good make-up counter person can help explain what colors look good on people and help a person develop a "look" she likes. Some, though, are one-trick ponies and make everyone look like a street-walker. Sometimes it helps to point out that a fair-skinned person needs more subtle colors -- the dark colors are too much contrast. </p><p></p><p>A lot depends on the girl's friends -- if they are sensible girls who don't want to spend all of their pocket money on make-up, avoiding swimming because they don't want their make-up messed up, etc., life is a lot easier. If they are uninterested in school and want to be Bratz dolls (fashion, music and boys), it's harder. </p><p></p><p>Good luck. Hope there was something in here you could use.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Running_for_the_shelter, post: 455037, member: 2960"] I remember wearing green and blue shiny, creamy, nasty eyeshadow in middle school. Not both colors at the same time, although, honestly, I don't know that it really would have looked worse. My mother didn't really wear make-up -- she did that weird 50's red red red lipstick and messed with her brows and that was about it. [Yeah, she was caught in a time warp or something.] Anyway, I knew she wasn't going to be much help for me, so I created a really awful look. Every difficult child is different, but I wish someone had helped me think through what was I trying to do. Had I been asked, I would have said, Everyone wears this, but it wasn't true. Many girls didn't wear any make-up at all. I think I had the idea that it was going to make me look prettier -- although not an attractive young teen, I wasn't so horrible that shiny green eyeshadow was an improvement. I've told my daughter that when she wants to wear make-up to let me know and I'll show her how to do it right. That young people often don't understand that subtle is better and put too much on. That the idea is to enhance your own looks and that if people notice the make-up, you've really put on too much. Weirdly, some young girls think that they are making themselves more attractive to boys -- not the case. They are really wearing it for other girls, mostly to get their approval and to show they "fit in" with them. Nothing like everyone looking like a sad, sickly raccoon to validate your technique with cosmetics! Daughter is going into 8th grade (I need to update my signature!). No make-up is actually allowed at this point. I expect I'll show her how within the year. A little lip gloss and a little mascara would be OK soon; eyeliner is iffy because it's hard to do right. It is very hard to explain to a teen who wants to cover up acne that putting make-up over it will really make it worse. One approach that works with some girls is to explain that there is a huge difference between fashion and style. Heavy black eyeliner on a blonde is fashion, not style. Most girls really want to have their own personal style but have no idea what that really means. A good make-up counter person can help explain what colors look good on people and help a person develop a "look" she likes. Some, though, are one-trick ponies and make everyone look like a street-walker. Sometimes it helps to point out that a fair-skinned person needs more subtle colors -- the dark colors are too much contrast. A lot depends on the girl's friends -- if they are sensible girls who don't want to spend all of their pocket money on make-up, avoiding swimming because they don't want their make-up messed up, etc., life is a lot easier. If they are uninterested in school and want to be Bratz dolls (fashion, music and boys), it's harder. Good luck. Hope there was something in here you could use. [/QUOTE]
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