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Me again...Question?
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 234995" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>It's called detachment....and it is a difficult child's parent's only sanctuary. Sometime you just have to step back and let natural consequences take place. It was only when I allowed my 19 year old difficult child sit in county jail for 23 days with no contact from me---his dad did go and see him---and refused to call in any favors---I live in a small town and can get things done with a drop of a hat----that he began to change. It was hard. I had enabled for years thinking I was "helping." I know now that I was doing him more damage. </p><p></p><p>Today my son is working and looking towards the future for the first time. I talked to his boss tonight at a social function. I thanked him for giving difficult child a chance and expecting him to do what he is capable of doing. difficult child is slowly gaining more responsibility at work and is now in charge of training others. This is a long way from the mess he was two years ago. If I had not allowed him to hit bottom, if I had not stopped enabling hiim, this change could not have taken place.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 234995, member: 1436"] It's called detachment....and it is a difficult child's parent's only sanctuary. Sometime you just have to step back and let natural consequences take place. It was only when I allowed my 19 year old difficult child sit in county jail for 23 days with no contact from me---his dad did go and see him---and refused to call in any favors---I live in a small town and can get things done with a drop of a hat----that he began to change. It was hard. I had enabled for years thinking I was "helping." I know now that I was doing him more damage. Today my son is working and looking towards the future for the first time. I talked to his boss tonight at a social function. I thanked him for giving difficult child a chance and expecting him to do what he is capable of doing. difficult child is slowly gaining more responsibility at work and is now in charge of training others. This is a long way from the mess he was two years ago. If I had not allowed him to hit bottom, if I had not stopped enabling hiim, this change could not have taken place. [/QUOTE]
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