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Mean Mom Sends Kid to Bed Without Dinner...
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<blockquote data-quote="BestICan" data-source="post: 150414" data-attributes="member: 3413"><p>Sorry you had such a rough time - it brought back memories of the days my difficult child used to be in gymnastics class before we stopped taking him due to his behaviors and my reactions. It all got to be too much. </p><p></p><p>Our therapist suggested that we have an agreement BEFORE going to class. I was supposed to check in with the teacher and difficult child halfway through class, and if his behavior has been acceptable, he can stay. If not, he goes home. That's the only consequence. Then, next week, we add 10 minutes (or whatever increase makes sense) until check-in time, and so on.</p><p></p><p>The idea is to get him to motivate himself to behave so he can stay, and to avoid me trying to motivate him with my long-winded lectures. (I'm extremely guilty of delivering long-winded lectures!) Also, to leave the misbehavior and consequence more "in the moment", then try to move on with the night. (I used to take away many privileges for one poor gymnastics class.) This was his suggestion for my difficult child, because for him the problem is impulse control and it's not very effective to punish all night for behaviors caused by poor impulse control. </p><p></p><p>There were some days when I drove him home early from class saying, "You're not in trouble! But today was too hard for you at class," and some days that he could hold it together. This method worked to keep me sane and keep him (mostly) from melting down about it, but it was a bit embarrassing because none of the other kids had to be handled this way. It never solved the actual problem, though, that gymnastics was just too overstimulating for him and set him off most of the time. So we stopped going. </p><p></p><p>Sitting in the car is a good idea but I found it all too stressful. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BestICan, post: 150414, member: 3413"] Sorry you had such a rough time - it brought back memories of the days my difficult child used to be in gymnastics class before we stopped taking him due to his behaviors and my reactions. It all got to be too much. Our therapist suggested that we have an agreement BEFORE going to class. I was supposed to check in with the teacher and difficult child halfway through class, and if his behavior has been acceptable, he can stay. If not, he goes home. That's the only consequence. Then, next week, we add 10 minutes (or whatever increase makes sense) until check-in time, and so on. The idea is to get him to motivate himself to behave so he can stay, and to avoid me trying to motivate him with my long-winded lectures. (I'm extremely guilty of delivering long-winded lectures!) Also, to leave the misbehavior and consequence more "in the moment", then try to move on with the night. (I used to take away many privileges for one poor gymnastics class.) This was his suggestion for my difficult child, because for him the problem is impulse control and it's not very effective to punish all night for behaviors caused by poor impulse control. There were some days when I drove him home early from class saying, "You're not in trouble! But today was too hard for you at class," and some days that he could hold it together. This method worked to keep me sane and keep him (mostly) from melting down about it, but it was a bit embarrassing because none of the other kids had to be handled this way. It never solved the actual problem, though, that gymnastics was just too overstimulating for him and set him off most of the time. So we stopped going. Sitting in the car is a good idea but I found it all too stressful. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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