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The Watercooler
Might see my estranged parents for the 1st time in 5 years. What to do??!!
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 378440" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm all for being the better person. Publicly. If I were to go I would be pleasant and treat them as if I knew them casually or maybe had heard of them. No drama. "Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you." If they broached a subject that was painful I'd either find a reason to excuse myself or outright ignore them. Mind you I met my parents and aunt and uncle at a public event (fine arts auction, so no real visiting allowed) unexpectedly several years ago and I just ignored them. They looked like fools. "Is that Witzend? OMG, it's Witzend! Why is she just standing there? Why isn't she saying hello to us?" Peeking around pillars and pointing. It was humiliating to them, I thought. I stood my ground for over an hour until I was done doing what I was doing and left without saying a word. Who the heck were those people, and who were they talking about, anyway?</p><p></p><p>But, I digress. In your situation and with all my hindsight regarding L and her dad & family as well as my rift with my folks, I would explain to your easy child that you know that this day is his day, and how important his happiness was to you. I'd acknowledge that you understand that the mixing of the families can be uncomfortable for him. Assure him that you are proud of him wherever you are and whatever he does and ask him what he prefers you to do. Be sure that he understands that he can think about it, and can even reconsider at a later date and you won't think less of him regardless of what he decides because you always love him.</p><p></p><p>Hope this helps you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 378440, member: 99"] I'm all for being the better person. Publicly. If I were to go I would be pleasant and treat them as if I knew them casually or maybe had heard of them. No drama. "Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you." If they broached a subject that was painful I'd either find a reason to excuse myself or outright ignore them. Mind you I met my parents and aunt and uncle at a public event (fine arts auction, so no real visiting allowed) unexpectedly several years ago and I just ignored them. They looked like fools. "Is that Witzend? OMG, it's Witzend! Why is she just standing there? Why isn't she saying hello to us?" Peeking around pillars and pointing. It was humiliating to them, I thought. I stood my ground for over an hour until I was done doing what I was doing and left without saying a word. Who the heck were those people, and who were they talking about, anyway? But, I digress. In your situation and with all my hindsight regarding L and her dad & family as well as my rift with my folks, I would explain to your easy child that you know that this day is his day, and how important his happiness was to you. I'd acknowledge that you understand that the mixing of the families can be uncomfortable for him. Assure him that you are proud of him wherever you are and whatever he does and ask him what he prefers you to do. Be sure that he understands that he can think about it, and can even reconsider at a later date and you won't think less of him regardless of what he decides because you always love him. Hope this helps you. [/QUOTE]
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Might see my estranged parents for the 1st time in 5 years. What to do??!!
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