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Substance Abuse
Mikey? Just checkin' on you....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 116880" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Not surprised about the booze. My daughter drank too and we didn't have a clue. She always said, "Booze makes me sick. I won't drink." Now she tells me just how much she drank--drugs and drinking go together like soap and sandwich. </p><p>Frankly, even if your son goes to rehab, without the right attitude, it won't help him. Rehab can't force anyone to quit using. They have to have the mindset to do it, then they will and they'll do it on their own. I understand why you want your son to go to Rehab--trust me I do--but I don't think it will help him. He has a big attitude problem right now and he isn't motivated to quit. And it's not easy to go straight. You literally have to be willing to give up the majority of your friends and learn new ways to cope with stress. My daughter's biggest complaint, now that she is straight, is that she doesn't have enough friends and is shy at parties (the "stuff" gave her courage she no longer has). </p><p>I understand why you want to stay for your daughter. If you do, and don't believe you could get custody of her or that your daughter will leave, the only thing I can suggest is detaching, even while you live there. You can't make wife kick out son, which I think is the best solution for him. Without his cushy life, where would he get the money or time to booze it up or use drugs? But she won't and you won't go against her, so I'd give up monitoring son's every move. He's going to end up in jail, and then he'll be out of the house. Your son is on the self-destructive path my daughter took. Even getting arrested twice didn't stop daughter from using her drugs. Nope. She didn't stop until she wanted to stop. And even though she's twenty-three and stopped at twenty, every day I worry that she'll start using again. When I know she's under stress (and she stresses easily) I call her every single day and talk to her, hoping that talking helps her wind down. (She lives in Illinois, I'm in Wisconsin and her father is a twit who makes her feel like the tremendous progress she's made in life just isn't enough--and she lives with him). I will always be afraid that something will drive her back to her old ways.</p><p>I wish you luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 116880, member: 1550"] Not surprised about the booze. My daughter drank too and we didn't have a clue. She always said, "Booze makes me sick. I won't drink." Now she tells me just how much she drank--drugs and drinking go together like soap and sandwich. Frankly, even if your son goes to rehab, without the right attitude, it won't help him. Rehab can't force anyone to quit using. They have to have the mindset to do it, then they will and they'll do it on their own. I understand why you want your son to go to Rehab--trust me I do--but I don't think it will help him. He has a big attitude problem right now and he isn't motivated to quit. And it's not easy to go straight. You literally have to be willing to give up the majority of your friends and learn new ways to cope with stress. My daughter's biggest complaint, now that she is straight, is that she doesn't have enough friends and is shy at parties (the "stuff" gave her courage she no longer has). I understand why you want to stay for your daughter. If you do, and don't believe you could get custody of her or that your daughter will leave, the only thing I can suggest is detaching, even while you live there. You can't make wife kick out son, which I think is the best solution for him. Without his cushy life, where would he get the money or time to booze it up or use drugs? But she won't and you won't go against her, so I'd give up monitoring son's every move. He's going to end up in jail, and then he'll be out of the house. Your son is on the self-destructive path my daughter took. Even getting arrested twice didn't stop daughter from using her drugs. Nope. She didn't stop until she wanted to stop. And even though she's twenty-three and stopped at twenty, every day I worry that she'll start using again. When I know she's under stress (and she stresses easily) I call her every single day and talk to her, hoping that talking helps her wind down. (She lives in Illinois, I'm in Wisconsin and her father is a twit who makes her feel like the tremendous progress she's made in life just isn't enough--and she lives with him). I will always be afraid that something will drive her back to her old ways. I wish you luck. [/QUOTE]
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