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mom messing with xmas
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 395094" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>For this year, I'd be thinking of not making waves but also avoiding stress and drama as easily as possible. Barring anything that you know that we can't since we aren't in your shoes and don't know all the dynamics and schedule for your other days .... here is what I would do. i would call husband's sister and say a chipper Hi there! I'm finally ready to finalize the end schedule for the holidays for our household. I can't wait to see you Christmas eve!!! (inject much joy in your voice lol) I remember you mentioned in passing maybe stopping by after dinner Christmas day. I'm wondering what other day/time works for you for us all to get together additional to the christmas eve get together. I ask because our Christmas day is getting a bit harry and we're trying to ensure it isn't so hectic with so many people that it gets unenjoyable for us and for all of our guests. So instead of a rushed and not so meaningful dessert visit on the 25th, I'm open (insert a list of days). Which one works for all of you???</p><p></p><p>Then I'd message your mother that her day is sacred and the kids would have been devestated since they already knew your parents were coming. Let her know the initial plans are the final ones.</p><p></p><p>Then ... say nothing more but several months early next year, make a plan that works for all of you in YOUR house and tell people this is what we are doing, period. Factor in all the dynamics and accomodate as best you can for others schedules, and just be firm and if you have to say no to someones ideas of what their or your plans should be, you can use the above tactic again. Sort of deflecting the whole "the two families dont' get along" thing , and it comes off as you being highly considerate of everyone so that you have more quality time with each group. You can this year and in future years, also say that its so difficult right on the 25th to juggle to much company, different families popping by etc, for the kids. It's important to you all to keep it low key but the holidays are not just one single day so here's the other options... etc. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Families huh??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 395094, member: 4264"] For this year, I'd be thinking of not making waves but also avoiding stress and drama as easily as possible. Barring anything that you know that we can't since we aren't in your shoes and don't know all the dynamics and schedule for your other days .... here is what I would do. i would call husband's sister and say a chipper Hi there! I'm finally ready to finalize the end schedule for the holidays for our household. I can't wait to see you Christmas eve!!! (inject much joy in your voice lol) I remember you mentioned in passing maybe stopping by after dinner Christmas day. I'm wondering what other day/time works for you for us all to get together additional to the christmas eve get together. I ask because our Christmas day is getting a bit harry and we're trying to ensure it isn't so hectic with so many people that it gets unenjoyable for us and for all of our guests. So instead of a rushed and not so meaningful dessert visit on the 25th, I'm open (insert a list of days). Which one works for all of you??? Then I'd message your mother that her day is sacred and the kids would have been devestated since they already knew your parents were coming. Let her know the initial plans are the final ones. Then ... say nothing more but several months early next year, make a plan that works for all of you in YOUR house and tell people this is what we are doing, period. Factor in all the dynamics and accomodate as best you can for others schedules, and just be firm and if you have to say no to someones ideas of what their or your plans should be, you can use the above tactic again. Sort of deflecting the whole "the two families dont' get along" thing , and it comes off as you being highly considerate of everyone so that you have more quality time with each group. You can this year and in future years, also say that its so difficult right on the 25th to juggle to much company, different families popping by etc, for the kids. It's important to you all to keep it low key but the holidays are not just one single day so here's the other options... etc. Know what I mean?? Families huh?? [/QUOTE]
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