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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 206336" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You said it, SRL. Another important point - every kid is different, even in the same family. And yet another point - girls on the spectrum are often VERY different. Everything you describe, it all fits with what I have seen in my own kids that is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The picking (especially the scalp), the fussiness, the food issues, the anxiety (especially the anxiety). The observation "she never smiles" doesn't necessarily mean the child is unhappy - a smile takes energy and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids make really good poker players. Too often we judge Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids by how WE think they should be expressing their feelings.</p><p></p><p>You say she tells lies - in what way? ALL kids will lie with "I didn't do it" especially to get out of trouble. I think sometimes we're far too critical of the lie without really digging down to find out why. Once you know why, it's easier to give a good lesson in why not. The lies to worry about are the lies where you can't find a reason and especially where the lie is complex, detailed and clearly fantasy. You also must be VERY careful how you question a child (or how other people do) in order to avoid leading the child or communicating to the child the sort of answer you're expecting. Some kids, including ASDs, can pick up enough form these cues to tell a complex lie that in fact the questioner has helped invent often without even realising it. And from my own experience of easy child 2/difficult child 2 - girls are better at lying, even Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) ones.</p><p></p><p>We're not saying that's what this is - only that it should be high on the list of possibilities, it would be very difficult to be certain it's ruled out. Even though we've been told years ago that easy child 2/difficult child 2 doesn't have Asperger's, somehow it's back on the table again.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 206336, member: 1991"] You said it, SRL. Another important point - every kid is different, even in the same family. And yet another point - girls on the spectrum are often VERY different. Everything you describe, it all fits with what I have seen in my own kids that is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The picking (especially the scalp), the fussiness, the food issues, the anxiety (especially the anxiety). The observation "she never smiles" doesn't necessarily mean the child is unhappy - a smile takes energy and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids make really good poker players. Too often we judge Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids by how WE think they should be expressing their feelings. You say she tells lies - in what way? ALL kids will lie with "I didn't do it" especially to get out of trouble. I think sometimes we're far too critical of the lie without really digging down to find out why. Once you know why, it's easier to give a good lesson in why not. The lies to worry about are the lies where you can't find a reason and especially where the lie is complex, detailed and clearly fantasy. You also must be VERY careful how you question a child (or how other people do) in order to avoid leading the child or communicating to the child the sort of answer you're expecting. Some kids, including ASDs, can pick up enough form these cues to tell a complex lie that in fact the questioner has helped invent often without even realising it. And from my own experience of easy child 2/difficult child 2 - girls are better at lying, even Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) ones. We're not saying that's what this is - only that it should be high on the list of possibilities, it would be very difficult to be certain it's ruled out. Even though we've been told years ago that easy child 2/difficult child 2 doesn't have Asperger's, somehow it's back on the table again. Marg [/QUOTE]
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