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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 207709" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Shari, I think House of Cards is right that your husband's ego is feeling bruised.</p><p></p><p>Your truck and car are working, and you can get them to run and baby them along and keep them to run. You just learned how to shoot off the back of a horse. You're going to work, keeping things together, etc.</p><p></p><p>From what I remember of your previous posts on this subject, it sounds like your job also brings in considerably more than does his.</p><p></p><p>So...you're the one bringing home the bacon AND you're the one keeping things together on the home front AND you're the one who's stuff is in good condition.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if husband feels a bit superfluous. He's not The Provider. He's not The One Who Can Fix All The Cars (since you can do so as well). He's not The One Who Can Hunt For Dinner (same as above), etc.</p><p></p><p>Every role that's typically A Man's Job is something that you can do equally well or better than he can. Some men handle this just fine. Some men don't handle this very well at all. And some men pretend to be just fine while not handling it well at all. I think your husband falls into the 3rd camp. He's got a young wife who has a good job, can keep all the machinery running, can shoot from HORSEBACK for heaven's sake and doesn't need any protecting from him...so what's he supposed to do?</p><p></p><p>Don't get me wrong. I'm not excusing the behaviour at all. It's unacceptable for him to snap at you, grump at you, treat your car or truck badly or whatever else. I'm just trying to dig around and understand it a bit, make sense of it.</p><p></p><p>Does any of this make sense? I'm not sure what the cure is...with some men there isn't any. </p><p></p><p>Hope this helps a little bit.</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 207709, member: 3907"] Shari, I think House of Cards is right that your husband's ego is feeling bruised. Your truck and car are working, and you can get them to run and baby them along and keep them to run. You just learned how to shoot off the back of a horse. You're going to work, keeping things together, etc. From what I remember of your previous posts on this subject, it sounds like your job also brings in considerably more than does his. So...you're the one bringing home the bacon AND you're the one keeping things together on the home front AND you're the one who's stuff is in good condition. I wonder if husband feels a bit superfluous. He's not The Provider. He's not The One Who Can Fix All The Cars (since you can do so as well). He's not The One Who Can Hunt For Dinner (same as above), etc. Every role that's typically A Man's Job is something that you can do equally well or better than he can. Some men handle this just fine. Some men don't handle this very well at all. And some men pretend to be just fine while not handling it well at all. I think your husband falls into the 3rd camp. He's got a young wife who has a good job, can keep all the machinery running, can shoot from HORSEBACK for heaven's sake and doesn't need any protecting from him...so what's he supposed to do? Don't get me wrong. I'm not excusing the behaviour at all. It's unacceptable for him to snap at you, grump at you, treat your car or truck badly or whatever else. I'm just trying to dig around and understand it a bit, make sense of it. Does any of this make sense? I'm not sure what the cure is...with some men there isn't any. Hope this helps a little bit. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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