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mother in law Update
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 287366" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry this is such a traumatic time. It is hard to watch someone who has decided to die. I hope you can get a good long nap in today. It is good that sister in law is coming to help in a couple of weeks.</p><p></p><p>I did chuckle at you telling the nurse that husband is a man and doesn't count. Why are guys so stupid when it comes to medical and life decisions? Rhetorical questions. My mom answered it a couple of years ago. Testosterone kills brain cells.</p><p></p><p>I fully support the decision to make someone else care for your mother. You have done enough to support everyone in your family. Nothing wrong with making someone else step up.</p><p></p><p>Putting her in the nursing home with no phone to call 911 is a smart decision, esp since she won't let the docs do anything but give her pain medications. Very sad that she wouldn't even let the staff help her up, or PT work with her to at least be able to move safely with-o help. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry that this burden falls on you. It is so tough to have to deal with all of this. I hope sister in law is on tap for the bills. Surely they can wait or be emailed to her. MOst bills can be paid online, and she should be given that job. You do enough.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs, I know you care deeply for mother in law. But since she has decided to die there is nothing you can do except pray she goes without pain. At least Dr. Ego responded and you know there is a reason for her to be so out of it. If she keeps trying to get up the nursing home may have to use restraints for her safely. I am surprised that the assisted living didn't at least suggest it. Also surprised that assisted living claimed to be able to give nursing home level of care. That is irresponsible, in my opinion, esp when most places have a tough time getting staff, largely because they don't pay enough. (At least that is the situation here. Many times families who know each other with relatives in assisted living will go in halves or even thirds to share a private nurse.)</p><p></p><p>Make time to nap, please. You don't need to get sick because you are exhausted. I am sorry husband will not let you sleep. What is his deal? Can you make him sleep elsewhere, or clear out a room for your own and sleep there? Not getting enough sleep and then spending time in a nursing home is a WONDERFUL way to get all kinds of nasty germs and get sick.</p><p></p><p>Sending gentle hugs and lots of sleep to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 287366, member: 1233"] I am so sorry this is such a traumatic time. It is hard to watch someone who has decided to die. I hope you can get a good long nap in today. It is good that sister in law is coming to help in a couple of weeks. I did chuckle at you telling the nurse that husband is a man and doesn't count. Why are guys so stupid when it comes to medical and life decisions? Rhetorical questions. My mom answered it a couple of years ago. Testosterone kills brain cells. I fully support the decision to make someone else care for your mother. You have done enough to support everyone in your family. Nothing wrong with making someone else step up. Putting her in the nursing home with no phone to call 911 is a smart decision, esp since she won't let the docs do anything but give her pain medications. Very sad that she wouldn't even let the staff help her up, or PT work with her to at least be able to move safely with-o help. I am sorry that this burden falls on you. It is so tough to have to deal with all of this. I hope sister in law is on tap for the bills. Surely they can wait or be emailed to her. MOst bills can be paid online, and she should be given that job. You do enough. Gentle hugs, I know you care deeply for mother in law. But since she has decided to die there is nothing you can do except pray she goes without pain. At least Dr. Ego responded and you know there is a reason for her to be so out of it. If she keeps trying to get up the nursing home may have to use restraints for her safely. I am surprised that the assisted living didn't at least suggest it. Also surprised that assisted living claimed to be able to give nursing home level of care. That is irresponsible, in my opinion, esp when most places have a tough time getting staff, largely because they don't pay enough. (At least that is the situation here. Many times families who know each other with relatives in assisted living will go in halves or even thirds to share a private nurse.) Make time to nap, please. You don't need to get sick because you are exhausted. I am sorry husband will not let you sleep. What is his deal? Can you make him sleep elsewhere, or clear out a room for your own and sleep there? Not getting enough sleep and then spending time in a nursing home is a WONDERFUL way to get all kinds of nasty germs and get sick. Sending gentle hugs and lots of sleep to you! [/QUOTE]
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