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Mother Nature Is Not On My Side
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 578518" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>There is a way to break both husband and the kids of this. I did it when J was little after a two day migraine where husband asked me how to cook pizza. frozen pizza in a box with directions, and he woke me up to ask. He also sent Wiz to me with every question (and he was five, so he had a zillion every other minute), and wanted me to change J's diaper because it was 'too messy' and he was afraid he would be sick. I told him if he talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me again, he wouldn't have to barf. I would do it for him, ON him. And he knew me well and knew I meant it.</p><p></p><p>If you want husband to step up, and the kids to leave you alone when you have said not to bug you, you must insist that husband deal iwth them. Send them to daddy, be 'mean' or whatever they will call you and refuse to deal with them. If you must respond, do it in such a way that they are NOT happy with your answer, that neither husband nor the kids like the answer. What does husband HATE food wise? Next time he is supposed to be dealin with things, and the kids go to you, you serve what he HATES for a solid WEEK. I am NOT joking. You tell him he can eat what he likes when he steps up.</p><p></p><p>Your Gma and Momma were NOT kidding when they said the way to a man is through his stomach. Not at ALL. If you want him to stop something, tie food he hates to it. also don't rush to help him figure thngs out when he asks for help and you are to be left alone. No, he won't be happy. Neither will the kids be. So what? No one promised anyone happiness, just the pursuit of it. YOU are not happy because you cannot have ten min alone, so why make them happy for bugging you? </p><p></p><p>My mom gave me this advice, and she was totally right. took me two or three weeks to totally turn things around once I decided to. I had to trust that husband would figure it out or not kill the kids if he didn't. I had to not give in and do it because it was easier than watching husband and the kids bumble through it. The result? Independent kids who can cope with life, and a husband who can finally cope with his own life who doesn't need me to be his mommy. Total win in the LONG RUN.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 578518, member: 1233"] There is a way to break both husband and the kids of this. I did it when J was little after a two day migraine where husband asked me how to cook pizza. frozen pizza in a box with directions, and he woke me up to ask. He also sent Wiz to me with every question (and he was five, so he had a zillion every other minute), and wanted me to change J's diaper because it was 'too messy' and he was afraid he would be sick. I told him if he talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me again, he wouldn't have to barf. I would do it for him, ON him. And he knew me well and knew I meant it. If you want husband to step up, and the kids to leave you alone when you have said not to bug you, you must insist that husband deal iwth them. Send them to daddy, be 'mean' or whatever they will call you and refuse to deal with them. If you must respond, do it in such a way that they are NOT happy with your answer, that neither husband nor the kids like the answer. What does husband HATE food wise? Next time he is supposed to be dealin with things, and the kids go to you, you serve what he HATES for a solid WEEK. I am NOT joking. You tell him he can eat what he likes when he steps up. Your Gma and Momma were NOT kidding when they said the way to a man is through his stomach. Not at ALL. If you want him to stop something, tie food he hates to it. also don't rush to help him figure thngs out when he asks for help and you are to be left alone. No, he won't be happy. Neither will the kids be. So what? No one promised anyone happiness, just the pursuit of it. YOU are not happy because you cannot have ten min alone, so why make them happy for bugging you? My mom gave me this advice, and she was totally right. took me two or three weeks to totally turn things around once I decided to. I had to trust that husband would figure it out or not kill the kids if he didn't. I had to not give in and do it because it was easier than watching husband and the kids bumble through it. The result? Independent kids who can cope with life, and a husband who can finally cope with his own life who doesn't need me to be his mommy. Total win in the LONG RUN. [/QUOTE]
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