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Mother of an 8 year old out of control Aspergers child!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 433657" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm having to rush right now - has anybody suggested the possibility of medication rebound? We got this really badly on ritalin, but it can happen with other medications. Added to this is what has already been mentioned - the e motional rebound at the end of a day spent concentrating really hard, and trying really hard.</p><p></p><p>First - ask if there is a different medication to try, or perhaps something to help him at the end of the day. But failing that, I would change what YOU do at the end of his days. Not tat you're doing anything wrong, but with the medications, he has changed and this has a dynamic in other areas of his life (and yours).</p><p></p><p>If you let him unwind when he comes home from school, and also (for a while at least) drop homework - we had to negotiate with the school for this, but it was worth it - you might find he copes better. Read "Explosive Child" and follow some of the techniques. it sounds like school is still a huge strain for him. Not uncommon. As he gets older, it gets more socially challenging and the gulf socially between him and his classmates may widen. This can also aggravate matters, also when expectations increase above his ability to cope.</p><p></p><p>There are so many factors, and I suspect you are at some level blaming yourself. The "late diagnosis" (no it's not - my older son was 14!), the change in his behaviour, the way it seems directed at you - don't take this personally.</p><p></p><p>One thing to hold close to your heart - he loves you, he trusts you to love him. He has to lash out at the moment at someone, somehow, and you are the one he feels safest with. He knows you love him unconditionally. It's not a conscious thought for him, it is desperation.</p><p></p><p>It does get better, but for now at least, you need to let go a lot of things at home. Stuff the family - they will get it eventually, or not. But you can't change them. At least your husband is on side.</p><p></p><p>I've got a sis-in-law who over the years has been critical of my parenting. She has also said to her mother (mother in law) that I have amazing patience with difficult child 3, she thinks I'm a saint. She has also said (since then) that I am a parent who does not pay attention to the child or push him hard enough to show respect to others. Basically - she blows with the wind. If I tried to please her, I'd be bouncing this way and that. So instead I just nod and smile, then go ahead and do things my way. It is frankly the only way to be consistent. Someone has to be!</p><p></p><p>Don't get me wrong, I love my sis-in-law, although at times she can annoy me.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 433657, member: 1991"] I'm having to rush right now - has anybody suggested the possibility of medication rebound? We got this really badly on ritalin, but it can happen with other medications. Added to this is what has already been mentioned - the e motional rebound at the end of a day spent concentrating really hard, and trying really hard. First - ask if there is a different medication to try, or perhaps something to help him at the end of the day. But failing that, I would change what YOU do at the end of his days. Not tat you're doing anything wrong, but with the medications, he has changed and this has a dynamic in other areas of his life (and yours). If you let him unwind when he comes home from school, and also (for a while at least) drop homework - we had to negotiate with the school for this, but it was worth it - you might find he copes better. Read "Explosive Child" and follow some of the techniques. it sounds like school is still a huge strain for him. Not uncommon. As he gets older, it gets more socially challenging and the gulf socially between him and his classmates may widen. This can also aggravate matters, also when expectations increase above his ability to cope. There are so many factors, and I suspect you are at some level blaming yourself. The "late diagnosis" (no it's not - my older son was 14!), the change in his behaviour, the way it seems directed at you - don't take this personally. One thing to hold close to your heart - he loves you, he trusts you to love him. He has to lash out at the moment at someone, somehow, and you are the one he feels safest with. He knows you love him unconditionally. It's not a conscious thought for him, it is desperation. It does get better, but for now at least, you need to let go a lot of things at home. Stuff the family - they will get it eventually, or not. But you can't change them. At least your husband is on side. I've got a sis-in-law who over the years has been critical of my parenting. She has also said to her mother (mother in law) that I have amazing patience with difficult child 3, she thinks I'm a saint. She has also said (since then) that I am a parent who does not pay attention to the child or push him hard enough to show respect to others. Basically - she blows with the wind. If I tried to please her, I'd be bouncing this way and that. So instead I just nod and smile, then go ahead and do things my way. It is frankly the only way to be consistent. Someone has to be! Don't get me wrong, I love my sis-in-law, although at times she can annoy me. Marg [/QUOTE]
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