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Mourning the normal milestones...
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 363494" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I think you hit the nail on the head, dash. It's hard for parents of a easy child to understand this. That's why this place is so important for so many of us, we "get it."</p><p></p><p>Neither of my girls had a high school graduation. Oldest did graduate, but several months late. She was so behind on schoolwork that she was taking correspondence classes to make up the credits to graduate. She procrastinated so much they weren't done in time for regular graduation, so she got her diploma in September. I was just glad she got it, at all. Youngest dropped out 5 months before graduation, has never gotten her GED. She talks about it once in awhile, but with a 3 year old and one on the way, it's not likely to happen anytime soon. Oldest did attend prom and a couple of homecoming dances, but Youngest never went to a single dance (and she is the more "girly" of the two). </p><p></p><p>I feel ripped off on "normal" marriage/children things too. Oldest got married, but I knew it was doomed.. I still paid for a dress and other thigns, but her marriage was over in less than six months. It was awkward when people later asked about how she and her new husband were doing. Youngest got pregnant at 18 while living with me, and now is pregnant by another man that she isn't married to. Yet, being a mother turned her around .. no more drinking/experimentation with drugs, and she is a wonderful mother, even if I don't always agree with her decisions. Still, again, people ask about her children and if the subject of their fathers comes up, it's awkward (most of the time it doesn't come up, and some assume her current fiance is Aidan's father, but, it's hanging there in the air.</p><p></p><p>I wish one or both of them could have had the college experience... and I know Oldest in particular is sad about that, as many of her H.S. friends have graduated from college and are working career-type jobs (while she waitresses/works counters at sandwich shops).</p><p></p><p>It's just.. different. While it's painful, I also do my best to focus on the accomplishments/improvements my children have made in their lives. Oldest is a survivor, she manages to figure out ways to make her life work despite obstacles and mistakes she's made. Youngest is a great mother, and has become more independent. Different milestones.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 363494, member: 1157"] I think you hit the nail on the head, dash. It's hard for parents of a easy child to understand this. That's why this place is so important for so many of us, we "get it." Neither of my girls had a high school graduation. Oldest did graduate, but several months late. She was so behind on schoolwork that she was taking correspondence classes to make up the credits to graduate. She procrastinated so much they weren't done in time for regular graduation, so she got her diploma in September. I was just glad she got it, at all. Youngest dropped out 5 months before graduation, has never gotten her GED. She talks about it once in awhile, but with a 3 year old and one on the way, it's not likely to happen anytime soon. Oldest did attend prom and a couple of homecoming dances, but Youngest never went to a single dance (and she is the more "girly" of the two). I feel ripped off on "normal" marriage/children things too. Oldest got married, but I knew it was doomed.. I still paid for a dress and other thigns, but her marriage was over in less than six months. It was awkward when people later asked about how she and her new husband were doing. Youngest got pregnant at 18 while living with me, and now is pregnant by another man that she isn't married to. Yet, being a mother turned her around .. no more drinking/experimentation with drugs, and she is a wonderful mother, even if I don't always agree with her decisions. Still, again, people ask about her children and if the subject of their fathers comes up, it's awkward (most of the time it doesn't come up, and some assume her current fiance is Aidan's father, but, it's hanging there in the air. I wish one or both of them could have had the college experience... and I know Oldest in particular is sad about that, as many of her H.S. friends have graduated from college and are working career-type jobs (while she waitresses/works counters at sandwich shops). It's just.. different. While it's painful, I also do my best to focus on the accomplishments/improvements my children have made in their lives. Oldest is a survivor, she manages to figure out ways to make her life work despite obstacles and mistakes she's made. Youngest is a great mother, and has become more independent. Different milestones. [/QUOTE]
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