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Substance Abuse
Move over on the couch, Nancy. We've been played . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 521059" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry Kathy. Perhaps it's both, real raw emotion and regret and fear <em><u>and</u></em> manipulation attempting to get you to take care of her. There is so much mental illness in my family that I have empathy for your difficult child and her feelings about not wanting to be the way she is. Mental illness has taken most of my bio family away, bit by bit, it is pretty devastating. And, I know none of them want to be the way they are, would trade it if they could. At the VERY same time, I read over and over the heartache and suffering WE, as parents, go through with our difficult child's. I don't know if there is ever any easy answer to any of it, simply to evaluate each issue and trust ourselves to follow our instincts, each and every time. </p><p><span style="color: #333333"></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><em>"It was a moment of raw emotion that shook me to my core." </em></span></p><p><span style="color: #333333"><em></em></span></p><p>Kathy, that statement brought me back to the moment when my adult daughter broke down after being released from jail and fell apart in my home. This time it seemed very, very real and even though I had fallen for many crocodile tears over the years, I had an instinct that I really needed to listen to her. I did. You know, that was the beginning of a different connection. I think I began to really see her, with all her issues and problems, but see her, not as I wanted her to be, but for who she is. </p><p></p><p>I don't know, I hear what the other parents are saying, it all makes sense, and truthfully, all of you know these particular issues better then I do, so filter my words through your own experience, and go with your gut. For me? There came that moment, where we both were being really honest, where the truth was told and honestly, that was when much began to shift. </p><p></p><p>You are clear that you cannot live with your difficult child, and that is very good, perhaps other alternatives will surface that will work for both of you. I like buddy's cell phone alarm as an option for remembering when to take her medications. What's wonderful is that you can put your issues in words and others will offer many options from their own experience and you can take a little from here and a lot from there or nothing at all, <u><em><strong>but you have options.</strong></em></u> And, for us, that is as good as it gets sometimes. Hugs to you. Prayers that the perfect solution shows up for all of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 521059, member: 13542"] I'm sorry Kathy. Perhaps it's both, real raw emotion and regret and fear [I][U]and[/U][/I] manipulation attempting to get you to take care of her. There is so much mental illness in my family that I have empathy for your difficult child and her feelings about not wanting to be the way she is. Mental illness has taken most of my bio family away, bit by bit, it is pretty devastating. And, I know none of them want to be the way they are, would trade it if they could. At the VERY same time, I read over and over the heartache and suffering WE, as parents, go through with our difficult child's. I don't know if there is ever any easy answer to any of it, simply to evaluate each issue and trust ourselves to follow our instincts, each and every time. [COLOR=#333333] [I]"It was a moment of raw emotion that shook me to my core." [/I][/COLOR] Kathy, that statement brought me back to the moment when my adult daughter broke down after being released from jail and fell apart in my home. This time it seemed very, very real and even though I had fallen for many crocodile tears over the years, I had an instinct that I really needed to listen to her. I did. You know, that was the beginning of a different connection. I think I began to really see her, with all her issues and problems, but see her, not as I wanted her to be, but for who she is. I don't know, I hear what the other parents are saying, it all makes sense, and truthfully, all of you know these particular issues better then I do, so filter my words through your own experience, and go with your gut. For me? There came that moment, where we both were being really honest, where the truth was told and honestly, that was when much began to shift. You are clear that you cannot live with your difficult child, and that is very good, perhaps other alternatives will surface that will work for both of you. I like buddy's cell phone alarm as an option for remembering when to take her medications. What's wonderful is that you can put your issues in words and others will offer many options from their own experience and you can take a little from here and a lot from there or nothing at all, [U][I][B]but you have options.[/B][/I][/U] And, for us, that is as good as it gets sometimes. Hugs to you. Prayers that the perfect solution shows up for all of you. [/QUOTE]
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