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Must have jinxed
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 311800" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Isn't it time for easy child to know when prescriptions need to be refilled? Slow transition towards independence is important.</p><p>It really strikes me when she talks so horridly to you and you say nothing. She didn't see your tears! She should. You should let her know that it hurt you badly. How are teens supposed to grow into adults if they don't learn early on that words hurt, mom is a human being and that sometimes she needs to put brakes on her mouth if her thoughts are ugly? When does she learn that love isn't supposed to hurt?</p><p></p><p>When difficult child said he hated living here, when in hs, I offered to move him if he found a family that he thought treated him better. We are only trying to teach him how to be an independent adult. I have shown the teens that what they say hurts and that we want to be spoken to as we speak to them. Trust me we have had several of these conversations over the last 8yrs. </p><p></p><p>I'm not saying that she will exhibit better behavior but you must plant the seeds that words hurt and family doesn't do that to each other without horrid consequences. Dysfunction starts to happen when there is no mutual respect for each other's role in the family. You being positive and upbeat is good but long suffering in silence is not. Please don't think I am saying to get into the argument with her but if you are able to calmly or even tearfully respond at the time she hurls these insults you may be able to show her what she has done with her words. You will be a parent teaching a teen how to respond to hurt. </p><p></p><p>She needs to learn that a woman can defend herself and stand up to abuse and anger. She needs to learn that from you. </p><p></p><p>In the meantime, many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 311800, member: 3"] Isn't it time for easy child to know when prescriptions need to be refilled? Slow transition towards independence is important. It really strikes me when she talks so horridly to you and you say nothing. She didn't see your tears! She should. You should let her know that it hurt you badly. How are teens supposed to grow into adults if they don't learn early on that words hurt, mom is a human being and that sometimes she needs to put brakes on her mouth if her thoughts are ugly? When does she learn that love isn't supposed to hurt? When difficult child said he hated living here, when in hs, I offered to move him if he found a family that he thought treated him better. We are only trying to teach him how to be an independent adult. I have shown the teens that what they say hurts and that we want to be spoken to as we speak to them. Trust me we have had several of these conversations over the last 8yrs. I'm not saying that she will exhibit better behavior but you must plant the seeds that words hurt and family doesn't do that to each other without horrid consequences. Dysfunction starts to happen when there is no mutual respect for each other's role in the family. You being positive and upbeat is good but long suffering in silence is not. Please don't think I am saying to get into the argument with her but if you are able to calmly or even tearfully respond at the time she hurls these insults you may be able to show her what she has done with her words. You will be a parent teaching a teen how to respond to hurt. She needs to learn that a woman can defend herself and stand up to abuse and anger. She needs to learn that from you. In the meantime, many hugs. [/QUOTE]
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