Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My 5 Year Old Has Aspergers and ADHD
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 108009" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It takes time and practice to get into the swing of it. Try doing what I did - write yourself a summary, as if you are writing it for her teacher next year. But choose a time when you're not quite so hassled - maybe between Christmas & New Year - when you can take the time to observe her, observe how she is with other people, take your own time to think and relax and then see how you go.</p><p></p><p>baby steps. A little at a time. And remember, we have our hassles too, finding a better way doesn't magically make everything better. But when you finally have something in place that is working better, you do feel better and more confident. And this snowballs in a good way.</p><p></p><p>You did what you felt was the right thing, getting the DVD back. And it probably WAS the right thing. But when you feel she CAN handle it, letting the girls borrow the DVD all night and having it returned safely in the morning is also a very positive lesson. "See? You did a kind thing by lending the DVD and the girls have brought it back safely."</p><p></p><p>Another option for her, as a positive learning experience from this - see if you can find another copy of the DVD for her to buy the girls for Christmas (maybe next year, or birthday, or something). The essence of this lesson is, "This DVD makes you so happy, let's see if their own copy can make the girls happy too. Then there will be a lot more happiness around."</p><p></p><p>Sharing doesn't always have to mean giving up something yourself. Especially if it's difficult (and this seems to be) another way to share something like a DVD or a CD is to buy a second copy to give away, or to sit with someone and play it for them. We sometimes have a movie session, where I make popcorn (I love those popcorn machines, they're great for this sort of thing) and we all sit and watch something together while sharing a big bowl of popcorn. Sharing popcorn too - easy, because it's so easy to make more.</p><p></p><p>As for the abuse and aggression, it's not great. But if you can not react too much to it (not easy) WHILE SHE'S RAGING, you can get your lesson across at a time when she's more likely to be receptive.</p><p></p><p>If you consider the raging, the hitting, the shouting to be her anxiety talking and don't take it to heart, then you're also not letting it distract you from the real issue, which is her fear and anxiety being the biggest problem here. </p><p>Think of a person struggling to survive in the river, the water flowing fast and they've only just managed to catch hold of a branch. Someone swims out to the person with a rope but they are in such panic that they are too afraid to let go the branch to grab the rope. Some drowning people can struggle so much that they put the life of their rescuer in danger, as well as their own. They are not deliberately trying to drown themselves and their rescuer, they are just in such a panic that they are reacting out of blind terror, unable to reason or be reasoned with. This is very common with very young children, under the age of two. And with our kids - that immaturity in some areas continues fort a few more years. It depends on what areas of their functioning are affected, as well as how severely.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, don't take the raging personally but see it for what it is. You will be able to help her, when she is ready to learn and when she is not in such acute distress.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 108009, member: 1991"] It takes time and practice to get into the swing of it. Try doing what I did - write yourself a summary, as if you are writing it for her teacher next year. But choose a time when you're not quite so hassled - maybe between Christmas & New Year - when you can take the time to observe her, observe how she is with other people, take your own time to think and relax and then see how you go. baby steps. A little at a time. And remember, we have our hassles too, finding a better way doesn't magically make everything better. But when you finally have something in place that is working better, you do feel better and more confident. And this snowballs in a good way. You did what you felt was the right thing, getting the DVD back. And it probably WAS the right thing. But when you feel she CAN handle it, letting the girls borrow the DVD all night and having it returned safely in the morning is also a very positive lesson. "See? You did a kind thing by lending the DVD and the girls have brought it back safely." Another option for her, as a positive learning experience from this - see if you can find another copy of the DVD for her to buy the girls for Christmas (maybe next year, or birthday, or something). The essence of this lesson is, "This DVD makes you so happy, let's see if their own copy can make the girls happy too. Then there will be a lot more happiness around." Sharing doesn't always have to mean giving up something yourself. Especially if it's difficult (and this seems to be) another way to share something like a DVD or a CD is to buy a second copy to give away, or to sit with someone and play it for them. We sometimes have a movie session, where I make popcorn (I love those popcorn machines, they're great for this sort of thing) and we all sit and watch something together while sharing a big bowl of popcorn. Sharing popcorn too - easy, because it's so easy to make more. As for the abuse and aggression, it's not great. But if you can not react too much to it (not easy) WHILE SHE'S RAGING, you can get your lesson across at a time when she's more likely to be receptive. If you consider the raging, the hitting, the shouting to be her anxiety talking and don't take it to heart, then you're also not letting it distract you from the real issue, which is her fear and anxiety being the biggest problem here. Think of a person struggling to survive in the river, the water flowing fast and they've only just managed to catch hold of a branch. Someone swims out to the person with a rope but they are in such panic that they are too afraid to let go the branch to grab the rope. Some drowning people can struggle so much that they put the life of their rescuer in danger, as well as their own. They are not deliberately trying to drown themselves and their rescuer, they are just in such a panic that they are reacting out of blind terror, unable to reason or be reasoned with. This is very common with very young children, under the age of two. And with our kids - that immaturity in some areas continues fort a few more years. It depends on what areas of their functioning are affected, as well as how severely. Hang in there, don't take the raging personally but see it for what it is. You will be able to help her, when she is ready to learn and when she is not in such acute distress. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My 5 Year Old Has Aspergers and ADHD
Top