My appointment with psychologist

[Kjs]

OMG - as you know I have been a nervous wreck, losing it. Scared.

this man was absolutely wonderful Went over birth on up.
All his issues from his entire life.

Asked about husband. Told him all of this. Asked if I knew why he is obsessed with difficult child. I told him his father was a drunk and beat him. died in a car accident when he was a teen. husband once told me he never wanted kids because he never wanted to do to his child what his father did to him.
So...he is the complete other side. Gone so far to try not to be like his father that he is out of it. in my opinion

Gave test results. He wants EEG results. Says neurologist lood for big things like seizures and such. He looks for different lobe functions.

I asked why he can be so intelligent yet lose everything and fail classes.

he said because he has a 600 horse power motor and no gas. His functioning isn't there. He will see difficult child next Friday. And wants me to see someone to get myself undercontrol so I can be of some help. His wife. She is also a Special Education teacher who adores children. I see her next Wednesday.

they do the neuropsychologist evaluation, family/patient education, family counsoling, marital counsoling. So, as I was leaving I asked what we can do with my husband. He asked if he even would come in. I told him he would. If it would make things better for difficult child he would do anything. Hope it will help US.

told him since difficult child was born, easy child and myself no longer existed. And I hurt. And I hurt because nobody cares how hard I work.

He put his arm around me and said things will be ok. One step at a time.

 

[gcvmom]

That's WONDERFUL! Sounds like you are on your way to getting all of this sorted out and getting each of you the support and help you need

 

[klmno]

Wow- I hope he can really be the path to helping all of you. At least he understands where you're coming from and that can go a long way. He sounds great!!

 

[artana]

I really hope that this seems as positive as it's starting out. Good for you for getting hte ball rolling.

 

[butterflydreams]

That sounds really great.

 

[bran155]

Have the goosebumps. That is great news. Sounds like you have found a gem. And they offer everything you are looking for. AWESOME!!!

You sound like you are in better spirits. I am so happy for you. Sounds promising.

Keep us posted.

You are so in my thoughts.

 

[courtfrog2]

I'm so happy for you! What a relief that things are looking up!

 

[TerryJ2]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Kjs, what a GREAT meeting! That is so awesome.

I love this analogy:
he said because he has a 600 horse power motor and no gas.


He asked if he even would come in. I told him he would. If it would make things better for difficult child he would do anything.

YES!

told him since difficult child was born, easy child and myself no longer existed. And I hurt. And I hurt because nobody cares how hard I work.

I hear you. It's hard enough carrying on financially, but carrying the entire emotional burden is way too much. Being invisible hoovers.


He put his arm around me and said things will be ok. One step at a time.

Awww ...

It's like the clouds just parted after a storm, and you're seeing rays of light.

 

[Wiped Out]

Kjs,
Sounds like such a good appointment. The psychologist sounds good!

 

[ML]

Finally the angel I have been praying for has manifested for you! I'm so glad, KJS. Keep a positive thought. Love, ML

 

[Andy]

He gave you your hope back! Each time you go, you will grow stronger and he will dismiss you with hope to go further.

And in this hope, some of your stress will be relieved.

 

[Kjs]

I didn't have much time when I wrote that post.

I lost it a few times talking about difficult child's life, my life... But when I left there, even after one hour (seemed like 5 minutes), it was like a ton of weights have lifted off me.

Never ever has anyone ever talked to me or difficult child.

We tried counseling several times. The man would call me and difficult child, or husband too in and say, "so what's up". Nobody knew what to say. So nobody talked.

I tried counseling alone, brought husband. Lady says..."so talk it's your $$"

Heck, I can talk to myself. but this man was different. I just cannot believe the relief I feel. I just had to tell you all.

I know you all said seek counseling, but the times I have tried it just seemed so useless. And that was several of them. I am soooo looking forward to going.

AND he said he will keep in contact with difficult child's principal to inform him of what is going on. SO much relief here.

 

[TerryJ2]

That is awesome.
It's amazing how many psychs are out there and they have no idea how to facilitate a conversation. They're probably really good at understanding how the mind works, but what good is that when you can't find out what's on someone's mind?
I am so happy for you!
You really need this. You've been going through a lot.

 

[KTMom91]

I am so happy for you, Kj! Sounds like you found someone who is truly caring.

 

[DDD]

I'm delighted for you and think you are absolutely right about the advise we give to "seek counseling". Somehow we all fail to point out that finding the right therapist (counselor psychiatrist etc.) is much like find the right mediation. It can take years of searching to find the help needed.

on the other hand the relief you feel when finally you have connected with someone you trust is mindboggling. I had a good caring and knowledgeable professional come into my life when I was truly beyond my limit with difficult child and could find no support in the l960's. That man saved my life and difficult children future although he only remained in Miami for less than two years. In 2002 I found the second expert who has been responsible for difficult child gs's steps forward...and saving my sanity. He is beyond retirement age and I seriously have prayed that his health remains good for at least another couple of years. When I walk into his office......a weight lifts from my shoulders.

Good luck. Remember not to expect all the problems to be resolved quickly. Hugs. DDD

 

[susiestar]

I am SO GLAD that you have contacted with this wonderful man, and that you feel worlds better! I have been worried about YOU as well as your son and family.

many gentle hugs,

susie

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

You don't know how happy I am to have read that post...!

 

[DazedandConfused]

When we are fortunate enough to find a professional that "gets it", it's like being thrown a life preserver. I'm so glad for you and your family.

I had son tested by a neuropsychologist who had her own difficult child. She was so knowledgable and understanding. She also said things that only a parent of a difficult child would understand, such as in regards to her own difficult child: "At one point, I was certain one of us was not going to survive. Either he was going to die, or it was going to be me". That kind of candor was reassuring to me and I knew she understood my life with Son.

 

[Marguerite]

That guy sounds like a gem. I am so happy for you - it's about time you had some good luck. I like his analogy about the 800 HP motor with no gas - really good.

Your difficult child is a very bright lad, and he really needs help. Here's hoping he responds well to this.

Marg