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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 245382" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Steely</p><p> </p><p>You have a right to peace of mind. You have a right to happiness. </p><p> </p><p>I know you love your parents, but they tend to remind me of leeches.....they svck the very life out of you. Maybe they mean well, or maybe they have their own agenda........Doesn't matter when the outcome is the same.</p><p> </p><p>I have a feeling this is a pattern that was established long ago in childhood. Such patterns are tough to break, but it can be done.</p><p> </p><p>Someone never had it dawn on them that you're grown up and can make the decisions in your own life. I think it's a control issue.</p><p> </p><p>If they can't handle it, don't talk to them about it. Do what you need to do and stop worrying about them. You are an adult. You need to make decisions that are best for you, your son, and your life......not your parents.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry they came down hard on you. You're right, you've got to quit letting them do that. You don't have to defend yourself to anyone. They do it because you let them. I've hung up on my Mom so much you'd think she'd never call me again.....but of course she does. lol You have to set the adult boundary and make them stick to it. If that means staying away from them until you're strong enough to deal with them........nothing wrong with that.</p><p> </p><p>If I'd have told my Mom I was going back to school to be a nurse 3 yrs ago she'd have spent 8 hrs telling me what a bad idea it was and how selfish I was for wanting to do such a thing. Just recently she was told the actual reason I'm in school, and once she got over the shock.........she's all for it. Yeah, it's a control issue with my Mom too. I just stopped letting her do it many years ago.</p><p> </p><p>Steely, if this is what you want/need then don't let anyone stop you. They've only popped it, if you've let them.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this didn't come across too harsh. I didn't meant it that way. </p><p> </p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 245382, member: 84"] Steely You have a right to peace of mind. You have a right to happiness. I know you love your parents, but they tend to remind me of leeches.....they svck the very life out of you. Maybe they mean well, or maybe they have their own agenda........Doesn't matter when the outcome is the same. I have a feeling this is a pattern that was established long ago in childhood. Such patterns are tough to break, but it can be done. Someone never had it dawn on them that you're grown up and can make the decisions in your own life. I think it's a control issue. If they can't handle it, don't talk to them about it. Do what you need to do and stop worrying about them. You are an adult. You need to make decisions that are best for you, your son, and your life......not your parents. I'm sorry they came down hard on you. You're right, you've got to quit letting them do that. You don't have to defend yourself to anyone. They do it because you let them. I've hung up on my Mom so much you'd think she'd never call me again.....but of course she does. lol You have to set the adult boundary and make them stick to it. If that means staying away from them until you're strong enough to deal with them........nothing wrong with that. If I'd have told my Mom I was going back to school to be a nurse 3 yrs ago she'd have spent 8 hrs telling me what a bad idea it was and how selfish I was for wanting to do such a thing. Just recently she was told the actual reason I'm in school, and once she got over the shock.........she's all for it. Yeah, it's a control issue with my Mom too. I just stopped letting her do it many years ago. Steely, if this is what you want/need then don't let anyone stop you. They've only popped it, if you've let them. I hope this didn't come across too harsh. I didn't meant it that way. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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