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my BiPolar (BP) wife update
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 405730" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think dating would be a mistake. Clearly you think so too. Dr Phil says (and I agree) they before you move on to a new relationship, you need to finish with the previous one. Close the door firmly. If someone still has their foot in the door, you need to wait until it's all sorted. </p><p></p><p>However, Step is right - you do need a social life.</p><p></p><p>A friend of mine joined a group at her church for single parents. There she met a great guy, they became friends and stayed just friends as she finished cleaning up the loose ends of her previous disastrous marriage. She had a lot of stuff she had to get straight in her own head, and until she did, any new relationship was going to be a mistake. A year later, she and her new friend married, they are still very much together and very happy. But also, her kids by then were independent.</p><p></p><p>I posted separately on someone else's thread over in General - another friend of mine was involved with a married man whose wife died. The man's son was no way ready for his father to be in a relationship, especially not one which had been in existence before his mother died. So they took their time. My friend waited while her boyfriend dealt with his grief and helped his son deal with his grief. By taking time, things are working out. </p><p></p><p>I think it is the same with you - you need time as an individual, not in a relationship, to find your own strength and grounding. And as I said, I think you get this. I'm just affirming it! I think your kids need this from you, too. Their loyalties will be confused enough, without having to meet a new female role model in their lives. But going out with friends or as part of a group - go for it. And if something happens - deal with it then. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 405730, member: 1991"] I think dating would be a mistake. Clearly you think so too. Dr Phil says (and I agree) they before you move on to a new relationship, you need to finish with the previous one. Close the door firmly. If someone still has their foot in the door, you need to wait until it's all sorted. However, Step is right - you do need a social life. A friend of mine joined a group at her church for single parents. There she met a great guy, they became friends and stayed just friends as she finished cleaning up the loose ends of her previous disastrous marriage. She had a lot of stuff she had to get straight in her own head, and until she did, any new relationship was going to be a mistake. A year later, she and her new friend married, they are still very much together and very happy. But also, her kids by then were independent. I posted separately on someone else's thread over in General - another friend of mine was involved with a married man whose wife died. The man's son was no way ready for his father to be in a relationship, especially not one which had been in existence before his mother died. So they took their time. My friend waited while her boyfriend dealt with his grief and helped his son deal with his grief. By taking time, things are working out. I think it is the same with you - you need time as an individual, not in a relationship, to find your own strength and grounding. And as I said, I think you get this. I'm just affirming it! I think your kids need this from you, too. Their loyalties will be confused enough, without having to meet a new female role model in their lives. But going out with friends or as part of a group - go for it. And if something happens - deal with it then. Marg [/QUOTE]
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