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My cousin showed up to dinner with-a black eye
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 482955" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I've known many many an abuser over the years and can't say I've ever actually known one to stop.......regardless of medications, therapy, whatever. If they stop, it's only for a short period of time. Which how can you count that as stopping when in the abuse cycle is the period where the abuse stops and they're "working hard to do better" crud. Based on a lifetime of experience, once an abuser crosses that line, it's a done deal forever. I'd like to meet someone who has actually overcome it, but even then I'd be extremely hard pressed to believe them. </p><p></p><p>I do know the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave for various reasons. What your cousin needs is some intensive group therapy in a dv shelter. It helps a ton to listen to others who fell for the same old same old you fell for time and again......makes it easier for it to click it really is a pattern that runs in a circle without end......that helps them make the decision to finally walk away. It can take a lot of false starts before they finally muster the courage and the determination to be finished.</p><p></p><p>It's a hard thing to watch knowing there is little you can do to actually help. I like IC's suggestion though, just to give the cops a heads up. I'd be sorely tempted to call that so called New Life Coach and tell him he's dropping the ball or being snowed out the wazoo.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 482955, member: 84"] I've known many many an abuser over the years and can't say I've ever actually known one to stop.......regardless of medications, therapy, whatever. If they stop, it's only for a short period of time. Which how can you count that as stopping when in the abuse cycle is the period where the abuse stops and they're "working hard to do better" crud. Based on a lifetime of experience, once an abuser crosses that line, it's a done deal forever. I'd like to meet someone who has actually overcome it, but even then I'd be extremely hard pressed to believe them. I do know the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave for various reasons. What your cousin needs is some intensive group therapy in a dv shelter. It helps a ton to listen to others who fell for the same old same old you fell for time and again......makes it easier for it to click it really is a pattern that runs in a circle without end......that helps them make the decision to finally walk away. It can take a lot of false starts before they finally muster the courage and the determination to be finished. It's a hard thing to watch knowing there is little you can do to actually help. I like IC's suggestion though, just to give the cops a heads up. I'd be sorely tempted to call that so called New Life Coach and tell him he's dropping the ball or being snowed out the wazoo. [/QUOTE]
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My cousin showed up to dinner with-a black eye
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