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Family of Origin
My dad disowned me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 674085" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>CB, I'm sorry about your father. I'm not a Christian so maybe I'm wrong, but he sounds like he thinks he is God's messenger, not a Christian. How does HE know what is good and not good? The social media isn't mentioned in the Bible, is it?</p><p></p><p>I'm not a good one to answer you, really, because I have concluded without a doubt (to me, at least) t hat DNA does not equal family and t hat sometimes our DNA is bad for us and our kids and that our "made" families who love us unconditionally are our real family. Your father was mean and abusive in the past. He hasn't changed because he goes to church. It's a good cover for many abusive or criminal people (not saying he is a criminal) who want to LOOK to others and themselves as if they have changed. His $150 is not important enough in my opinion to put up with his meanness.</p><p></p><p>I do not know how you, in particular, can get past your anxiety. I got past mine when I went through the grieving process of not really having a strong or loving family or origin (myself, I mean) and just accepting that they are what they are and I need to move on and be good to ME and my chosen family, and I think it would help you too, if you can do it. If not, and you are in counseling, do bring it up. Or talk about it here. These ladies will help you just like they helpled me!</p><p></p><p>Some relationships can not and should not be repaired if both people do not both work hard at it. One person can't repair a relationship. Sounds like you are doing all the heartfelt work. Be good to yourself. Don't do it all. You can't.</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 674085, member: 1550"] CB, I'm sorry about your father. I'm not a Christian so maybe I'm wrong, but he sounds like he thinks he is God's messenger, not a Christian. How does HE know what is good and not good? The social media isn't mentioned in the Bible, is it? I'm not a good one to answer you, really, because I have concluded without a doubt (to me, at least) t hat DNA does not equal family and t hat sometimes our DNA is bad for us and our kids and that our "made" families who love us unconditionally are our real family. Your father was mean and abusive in the past. He hasn't changed because he goes to church. It's a good cover for many abusive or criminal people (not saying he is a criminal) who want to LOOK to others and themselves as if they have changed. His $150 is not important enough in my opinion to put up with his meanness. I do not know how you, in particular, can get past your anxiety. I got past mine when I went through the grieving process of not really having a strong or loving family or origin (myself, I mean) and just accepting that they are what they are and I need to move on and be good to ME and my chosen family, and I think it would help you too, if you can do it. If not, and you are in counseling, do bring it up. Or talk about it here. These ladies will help you just like they helpled me! Some relationships can not and should not be repaired if both people do not both work hard at it. One person can't repair a relationship. Sounds like you are doing all the heartfelt work. Be good to yourself. Don't do it all. You can't. Hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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