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My dad is dying
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 535527" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>And the visit with-the psychiatrist today didn't go well. difficult child had a meltdown and the psychiatrist is considering lithium. Lots of decisions to make. He is going to talk to the therapist first.</p><p></p><p>I haven't posted a lot about my dad lately, but the most recent development as of Friday was that I was going to fly to MN and my dad would be placed at a neat ranch for Alzheimer's pts 2 hrs from my little sister, and we'd rent a cabin, so we could write and drink wine and visit Dad.</p><p>Not going to happen. (And amazing that she could find humor in this, too! I well remember that incident.)</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">HI,</span><span style="font-size: 15px">This is a sad email to write, but dad isn't doing well-- and they need to sedate him more for comfort care-- he is failing to thrive. This is often how it goes at this stage-- faster than any other stage.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">He may not make it more then a few weeks, maybe less. The good news is, he's 91 and what a life! It helps to look at this that way. For me at least. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I'm going to talk to the dr and to the social worker again tomorrow, (I talked to the psychiatrist, internist and social worker today), about moving dad to a hospice area in the hospital or if he is maintaining, to a nursing home-- close, where I can be there a lot. We talked in detail about the use of morphine during this process. So, we will not have the opportunity for him to go to </span>LakevVIew Ranch. </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">If I were to speak for dad, I think he's done with this disease. If he had his choice on care for him, he would not be living like this. The most important thing is </span><span style="font-size: 15px">that he is at peace and pain free. I am at peace after watching this for this long-- I do not want him to suffer. So, although dad made me wait </span> until after he finished his sandwich <span style="font-size: 15px">to get me stitches when Terry dropped the bed on my finger, </span> I am going to make a swift decision that he should suffer no pain or anxiety at this stage. So, no feeding tube--- which I know for certain none of you would want to do anyway. We need to let him go. </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">There's not much else to tell you. If he makes it longer, every day is good-- but I wanted you to know what I know. Anyone is welcome to come here at any time. He will most likely be asleep but </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">you would see him. So, if that's something you want to do, you certainly have a place to stay. This is not an easy thing to see right now-- if you don't want this memory he would be the first to understand. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">If anyone wants to talk to the doctors it should probably be by conference call-- There are two doctors, and four of you. You could arrange it and I could get you numbers if you want. There's not much to say at this point though-- he will almost certainly be moved on Thursday. I will keep you posted, and just know the goal is peace for dad. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 535527, member: 3419"] And the visit with-the psychiatrist today didn't go well. difficult child had a meltdown and the psychiatrist is considering lithium. Lots of decisions to make. He is going to talk to the therapist first. I haven't posted a lot about my dad lately, but the most recent development as of Friday was that I was going to fly to MN and my dad would be placed at a neat ranch for Alzheimer's pts 2 hrs from my little sister, and we'd rent a cabin, so we could write and drink wine and visit Dad. Not going to happen. (And amazing that she could find humor in this, too! I well remember that incident.) [SIZE=4]HI,[/SIZE][SIZE=4]This is a sad email to write, but dad isn't doing well-- and they need to sedate him more for comfort care-- he is failing to thrive. This is often how it goes at this stage-- faster than any other stage.[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]He may not make it more then a few weeks, maybe less. The good news is, he's 91 and what a life! It helps to look at this that way. For me at least. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]I'm going to talk to the dr and to the social worker again tomorrow, (I talked to the psychiatrist, internist and social worker today), about moving dad to a hospice area in the hospital or if he is maintaining, to a nursing home-- close, where I can be there a lot. We talked in detail about the use of morphine during this process. So, we will not have the opportunity for him to go to [/SIZE]LakevVIew Ranch. [SIZE=4]If I were to speak for dad, I think he's done with this disease. If he had his choice on care for him, he would not be living like this. The most important thing is [/SIZE][SIZE=4]that he is at peace and pain free. I am at peace after watching this for this long-- I do not want him to suffer. So, although dad made me wait [/SIZE] until after he finished his sandwich [SIZE=4]to get me stitches when Terry dropped the bed on my finger, [/SIZE] I am going to make a swift decision that he should suffer no pain or anxiety at this stage. So, no feeding tube--- which I know for certain none of you would want to do anyway. We need to let him go. [SIZE=4][/SIZE] [SIZE=4]There's not much else to tell you. If he makes it longer, every day is good-- but I wanted you to know what I know. Anyone is welcome to come here at any time. He will most likely be asleep but [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]you would see him. So, if that's something you want to do, you certainly have a place to stay. This is not an easy thing to see right now-- if you don't want this memory he would be the first to understand. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [SIZE=4]If anyone wants to talk to the doctors it should probably be by conference call-- There are two doctors, and four of you. You could arrange it and I could get you numbers if you want. There's not much to say at this point though-- he will almost certainly be moved on Thursday. I will keep you posted, and just know the goal is peace for dad. [/SIZE] [SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [SIZE=4][/SIZE] [SIZE=4] [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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