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My daughter hates me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 110019" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't know how old she was when you got her, but she could have attachment problems. I adopted older kids and infants. The infant adoptions are great (even one adoption of a two year old). All three older child adoptions were not good--two of the kids are gone, for sexually abusing my younger ones. I don't think the older kids attached the way the younger ones did. BUT I also don't feel our adopted kids owe us their undying gratitude for "rescuing" them from their situations either.</p><p>Older child adoption is very challenging. I would never try it again.</p><p>The spoon is child abuse in many states. I think it should be abuse in all states. You won't teach her to respect you by beating her with a spoon. In fact, she will probably resent you all the more. She needs therapy--I think the whole family does. Is this your first child? It is a rare child who honors us for what we give them. Most parents do what they can for their kids. I'd say love is more important than the trimmings. But she may have been so traumatized in China that she's afraid of love, and that makes your job harder. Do you love her?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 110019, member: 1550"] I don't know how old she was when you got her, but she could have attachment problems. I adopted older kids and infants. The infant adoptions are great (even one adoption of a two year old). All three older child adoptions were not good--two of the kids are gone, for sexually abusing my younger ones. I don't think the older kids attached the way the younger ones did. BUT I also don't feel our adopted kids owe us their undying gratitude for "rescuing" them from their situations either. Older child adoption is very challenging. I would never try it again. The spoon is child abuse in many states. I think it should be abuse in all states. You won't teach her to respect you by beating her with a spoon. In fact, she will probably resent you all the more. She needs therapy--I think the whole family does. Is this your first child? It is a rare child who honors us for what we give them. Most parents do what they can for their kids. I'd say love is more important than the trimmings. But she may have been so traumatized in China that she's afraid of love, and that makes your job harder. Do you love her? [/QUOTE]
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