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My daughter hates me
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<blockquote data-quote="mum2JK&amp;TH" data-source="post: 110061" data-attributes="member: 1784"><p>It sounds like your making the right step by having your daughter evaluated. I have never adopted so I really don't know what it is like but I something caught me that I have noticed in another situation I am aware of with a lady and her children.</p><p></p><p>I don't mean to sound harsh if I do, so please don't take it that way. You posted that she does not listen to your commands. It sounds like you are training an animal, not raising a child. She sounds like many of our difficult child's and physical punishment and ordering them to do things just does not work, especially at 6. You can't demand things from them. Despite how frustrating they can be, and believe me this is a road I have travelled many times with my own difficult child and my daycare difficult child's, they are little people and need to be treated so. It's like the saying goes "you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar".</p><p></p><p>You have her in many activities, is it possible that she's in overload? I know for difficult child he plays hockey but some times he can be on the ice 4-5 times a week. There are times when even though he loves it, it's too much and can make for some difficult behaviors. Sometimes they need their own kind of downtime, even though that shows as driving you nuts or running around the house swinging toys in front of the new tv! (See it happens to us all) </p><p></p><p>The thing is that she does not owe you anything. I think you might be just expecting too much from her. It does sound like she has some problems but you are going to have to accept them for the downward spiral to change. She shouldn't be responsible for your need of affection, that just seems a lot to ask from a 6 year old. I know for my difficult child, it's on his terms. There are times when I try to hug him and he will honestly cringe like I am the most disgusting thing on the planet and then there are times when he will walk up and give me a hug. I've learnt to accept that this is him, it's not personal to me, it's just the way he is. I take them when I get them and hold on to them for the times when I don't. I know he loves me in his own way.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it matters whether they are adopted or biological, I think we have all wanted to run away or give them back. You are not alone and it sounds like you are definitely headed in the right direction by getting help and finding some support.</p><p></p><p>I know it's not easy, but you have a wonderful group here to offer suggestions and support. Don't give up</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mum2JK&TH, post: 110061, member: 1784"] It sounds like your making the right step by having your daughter evaluated. I have never adopted so I really don't know what it is like but I something caught me that I have noticed in another situation I am aware of with a lady and her children. I don't mean to sound harsh if I do, so please don't take it that way. You posted that she does not listen to your commands. It sounds like you are training an animal, not raising a child. She sounds like many of our difficult child's and physical punishment and ordering them to do things just does not work, especially at 6. You can't demand things from them. Despite how frustrating they can be, and believe me this is a road I have travelled many times with my own difficult child and my daycare difficult child's, they are little people and need to be treated so. It's like the saying goes "you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar". You have her in many activities, is it possible that she's in overload? I know for difficult child he plays hockey but some times he can be on the ice 4-5 times a week. There are times when even though he loves it, it's too much and can make for some difficult behaviors. Sometimes they need their own kind of downtime, even though that shows as driving you nuts or running around the house swinging toys in front of the new tv! (See it happens to us all) The thing is that she does not owe you anything. I think you might be just expecting too much from her. It does sound like she has some problems but you are going to have to accept them for the downward spiral to change. She shouldn't be responsible for your need of affection, that just seems a lot to ask from a 6 year old. I know for my difficult child, it's on his terms. There are times when I try to hug him and he will honestly cringe like I am the most disgusting thing on the planet and then there are times when he will walk up and give me a hug. I've learnt to accept that this is him, it's not personal to me, it's just the way he is. I take them when I get them and hold on to them for the times when I don't. I know he loves me in his own way. I don't think it matters whether they are adopted or biological, I think we have all wanted to run away or give them back. You are not alone and it sounds like you are definitely headed in the right direction by getting help and finding some support. I know it's not easy, but you have a wonderful group here to offer suggestions and support. Don't give up (((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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