My difficult child-senses are tingling...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Maybe he's just growing, maybe it's the cold he's had this week, but difficult child 2 is starting to do stuff that has me wondering if this is the start of something that may require another medication tweak. I'm hoping not. Hoping that once he gets over this little bug he settles down, but his medications don't seem to be as effective as they should be.

    Over winter break, he stayed up late and slept REALLY late. And I let him sleep in figuring it wouldn't hurt. Going back to school last week wasn't too bad. He had some trouble falling asleep at night, and there were several nights I'd find him awake at midnight or even 1am. This past week seemed better, but he also has a mild cold and it's been making him fall asleep easier I think. But the past few days, he's started to become squirrelier (if that's even a word!)...

    He's been more hyperactive in the afternoons.
    And he's more impulsive.
    He's a lot more talkative and won't STOP talking when people ask him to.
    And he's deciding to do stuff at the weirdest times.

    Yesterday he confided that he was trying to get up the nerve to ask a girl at school out to the movies (!!!!!!), nevermind that we've not really had the dating talk yet since he's only in 8th grade -- and he was very disappointed when I told him he wasn't quite ready to go out on a "date" by himself with a girl, even if it's just as friends. I told him it would be fine to get a group of kids together and go together, and I even reminded him when I dropped him off at school this morning to talk to his friends and figure something out for this weekend.

    So this afternoon he calls me from his carpool ride home and asks if it's okay if he and his buddy go see a movie tonight and by the way, the buddy is coming over (!!!) -- they didn't ask, they just got in the carpooler's car! I got on the phone and profusely apologized for the intrusion to the dad who drives his son and difficult child 2 home for suddenly having another passenger. Then I told difficult child 2 we would be having a talk when he got him. By the time they all got to our house, difficult child 2 and his pal realized what an inconsiderate stunt they'd pulled and they were apologetic to the dad and to me. I took the boy home and told difficult child 2 they could try again on the weekend.

    All afternoon he's been twirling around and getting in people's space. He sat through a movie with difficult child 1 and I fine this evening, but then after he took his medications at 9pm, he decided he needed to clean his trumpet! (?) He's never felt the need to do so before, which is what's weird besides the late hour. So now he's in the bathroom "cleaning" it -- and of course, he can't resist blowing on it so I have to get after him about not doing that because it's late.

    And then he just walked out to tell me he thinks he "accidentally" used easy child's toothbrush to clean his trumpt valves, but not to worry about her using it by mistake because he threw it in the trash!!!! What is going ON with this kid's head????

    I'm just hoping this weekend doesn't reveal a further unraveling in him. Fortunately, we have a psychiatrist appointment on the books for this coming Monday. Things still feel weird to me...

    P.S. He's talking to husband on the phone and apparently he DID go ahead and asked the girl out to a movie for Sunday, but she said she goes to church on Sunday and that perhaps some other time they could go.

    I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. :grrr:

    P.P.S. easy child found out about her toothbrush and went ballistic while difficult child 2 was talking on the phone to husband. He was standing in the bathroom, and she tried to hit him, missed and knocked the phone out of his hand into the toilet!!!

    And it's 11:30pm and difficult child 2 is STILL up wandering around in his room listening to music. :groan:

    And I have spent the last 90 minutes trying to decompress after husband basically told me I was the "bad guy" for not letting difficult child 2's friend stay to visit.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2011
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope he settles down but it does seem as though a medication tweak may be necessary. Glad to hear you have an appointment on Monday. by the way, you are not the bad guy for not letting the friend stay. He will learn to be more considerate. Hugs.
     
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    G-

    I think, if you look back, that you'll see that difficult child 2 usually is in the earliest stages of mania about now. I seem to remember this because it usually happens around the time of Duckie's birthday (next week). I hope you can get ahead of it before he spirals too much. by the way, how did you deal with easy child?
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Is he perhaps taking an OTC medication for his cold? For some people that causes tingling. Sorry it's a stressful week. DDD
     
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sure sounds like something is going on. I don't think it is a failure to communicate. I am sure he heard you and understood you when you said he couldn't go out with the girl. I think when they get like this their brains get greased with something and they hear the info but it just doesn't stick in there long enough to have any impact. Goes in one ear and out somewhere else faster than Road Runner getting out from under on of Wiley Coyote's traps. While not manic, Wiz would get like this sometimes. I thin would go back to the dessert method of attention getting. I did not give him dessert, when I needed him to pay attention to me I would use a semi-urgent voice and say "chocolate pudding" or "chocolate chip cookies" or the like. Makes my kids stop anything ans swivel that head toward me with that laser gaze on the chance that just maaaaaaybe I might be handing that out. Only in the first few months of this did I ever give them the dessert at this time. After giving them the dessert maybe three times a month for the first 2-3 months, while still using that at other times with no food to get their attention, it seems to be wired into them that this just might be good without any real expectations. Anyway, it has worked for years for us. It seems to create a small clear spot in the grease that keeps everything from sticking in the brain.

    After that, I say what I want them to know and have them tell me what I meant with what I just said. Active listening is a technique I learned in a speech class in college. You say something to someone and then ask them to tell you what they think you meant. That gives it another chance to be absorbed into the brain and it means they must think about it because just regurgitating what you said word for word isn't enough. Ask him to tell you what he thinks your rules means you will do if he goes ahead and arranges for the girl to go to the movie, or he brings a kid over on the spur of the moment with-telling and not asking? Do this as part of the conversation whenever possible, esp when his brain is greased like a cliff in a cartoon strip.

    This isn't going to fix it, but it can give the info a chance to sink in. It also takes away any belief in the right to whine or fuss at you when he goes ahead and does whatever it is anyway.
     
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Could also be the combination of the cold and anxiety over this girl. Nerves and all that. I know kiddo gets more difficult child-ish when she's coming down with something, I rarely think about it until afterwards but her behavior is often the first sign that she's not feeling well (so much of her behavior can be caused by other anxieties that illness is the last thing to show up and I have a *facepalm* moment).
    So many medications can also interact with cold medications that I won't let her have anything other than cough drops and saline nose spray.
     
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    Sounds like you're spot on with your instincs and how cool TM remembers the timeframe! It's nice that we have each other during these times. Glad the doctor apt is Monday and we'll be looking for his/her take on things.
     
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yes, she's right about the timing. I think a lot of our difficult child's start to get a bit wobbly as the days begin to grow longer. I'm hoping it's just the cold and the extra demands that it can put on the brain's energy... He hasn't been taking anything regularly for the congestion. An occasional sudafed at bedtime so he can breathe easier, but that's about it. He crashed fairly quickly last night, so we'll see what happens.
     
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    clariton and mucinex have been of some help to us.
     
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