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My difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 274350" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>G'day.</p><p></p><p>I tried looking up ARP, the closest I could find (easily) was something about Accident Report Prevention. </p><p>It really sounds to me like they are trying to set you up for a longer suspension than is appropriate (or probably legal). The trouble is, you haven't got an IEP in place or any notification to the school that this is a child with a diagnosed disability, so they can pretty much try it on like this.</p><p></p><p>Some suggestions - </p><p></p><p>1) Contact the school, in writing, asking for an IEP. INclude a copy of a certificate (if you have it) from the diagnosing/treating specialist, detailing the diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>2) Do it today, ask for it to be treated as a matter of urgency. I would also make it clear that three weeks suspension is unacceptable, especially since difficult child's problem behaviours were all connected and aggravated by staff. You're not excusing him, but for a child that young, even a one week suspension is not sending the right message and won't achieve anything other than respite for the school. </p><p></p><p>3) Make enquiries with support groups in your area, to determine what your legal rights are. Try to find an advocate who can support you in person at the school.</p><p></p><p>4) Give serious consideration to getting him assessed in detail. Find out what your health insurance can cover, and also what you can access cheaply independently. Once you know what you're dealing with, it's easier to cope.</p><p></p><p>5) A new policy to put in place, and have written into the IEP - a COmmunication Book. This can be formal or informal (I recommend keeping it relaxed in language, but friendly as much as possible). It's an exercise book which you label and cover, it travels in the child's schoolbag (and it is NEVER the child's responsibility to hand the book over to parent or teacher, the adult needs to get the book themselves and to make sure the book gets back into the bag). You write in the book anything you feel the teacher needs to know, such as "he had a rough night, he may be more obsessive than usual". The teacher writes in their responses. "He was fine this morning, but very difficult and perseverative when he came in after recess."</p><p>This way you can observe patterns of behaviour as well as patterns of what happens in his environment. You may find, for example, that he's worse on certian days, worse in certain subjects, worse at certain times of the day (such as after play time). The immediacy of this information can greatly refuce the degree ond frequency of problems, for both home and school. You and the school become a team and the child (and everyone else) benefits.</p><p>Some schools can be VERY resistant to doing this, but it is worth the effort.</p><p>Failing that - YOU keep a detailed diary of observations and reported problems. Make sure you also write in any positive or interesting stuff too, or you can find it depressing. And there are always fun things. Even if it's just the fun stuff they say or do.</p><p></p><p>I do feel the school are running scared right now (a raging child can be terrifying) but if they mishandle a child with a disability like this, they WILL provoke a crisis and need to recognise that they had a role in this and need to wear some of the responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 274350, member: 1991"] G'day. I tried looking up ARP, the closest I could find (easily) was something about Accident Report Prevention. It really sounds to me like they are trying to set you up for a longer suspension than is appropriate (or probably legal). The trouble is, you haven't got an IEP in place or any notification to the school that this is a child with a diagnosed disability, so they can pretty much try it on like this. Some suggestions - 1) Contact the school, in writing, asking for an IEP. INclude a copy of a certificate (if you have it) from the diagnosing/treating specialist, detailing the diagnosis. 2) Do it today, ask for it to be treated as a matter of urgency. I would also make it clear that three weeks suspension is unacceptable, especially since difficult child's problem behaviours were all connected and aggravated by staff. You're not excusing him, but for a child that young, even a one week suspension is not sending the right message and won't achieve anything other than respite for the school. 3) Make enquiries with support groups in your area, to determine what your legal rights are. Try to find an advocate who can support you in person at the school. 4) Give serious consideration to getting him assessed in detail. Find out what your health insurance can cover, and also what you can access cheaply independently. Once you know what you're dealing with, it's easier to cope. 5) A new policy to put in place, and have written into the IEP - a COmmunication Book. This can be formal or informal (I recommend keeping it relaxed in language, but friendly as much as possible). It's an exercise book which you label and cover, it travels in the child's schoolbag (and it is NEVER the child's responsibility to hand the book over to parent or teacher, the adult needs to get the book themselves and to make sure the book gets back into the bag). You write in the book anything you feel the teacher needs to know, such as "he had a rough night, he may be more obsessive than usual". The teacher writes in their responses. "He was fine this morning, but very difficult and perseverative when he came in after recess." This way you can observe patterns of behaviour as well as patterns of what happens in his environment. You may find, for example, that he's worse on certian days, worse in certain subjects, worse at certain times of the day (such as after play time). The immediacy of this information can greatly refuce the degree ond frequency of problems, for both home and school. You and the school become a team and the child (and everyone else) benefits. Some schools can be VERY resistant to doing this, but it is worth the effort. Failing that - YOU keep a detailed diary of observations and reported problems. Make sure you also write in any positive or interesting stuff too, or you can find it depressing. And there are always fun things. Even if it's just the fun stuff they say or do. I do feel the school are running scared right now (a raging child can be terrifying) but if they mishandle a child with a disability like this, they WILL provoke a crisis and need to recognise that they had a role in this and need to wear some of the responsibility. Marg [/QUOTE]
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