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My ex hurting all of us by talking about his great relationship with Scott
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 592390" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM, Will you do a huge favor for me? Go to the bookstore or amazon and get a copy of Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. there is also a workbook by the same people that goes with it. Read the book and do the exercises. PLEASE. I am BEGGING you. It. Will. Change. Your. Life. For. The. Amazing.</p><p></p><p>I am totally serious. You cannot change others. You can change how you react to them. That is what you control. </p><p></p><p>You are so totally and adult child that I think sometimes you are like a long lost sister who grew up with the same dysfunctional koi that I did. And in many ways, real ways, you are. I am an adult grandchild, like Julie is. I am also the daughter of a man with aspergers or something close enough to it to be the same thing. Except my dad is a lot less clueless about things that hurt people because he spent almost forty years teaching kids. You HAVE to figure out feelings to do that. </p><p></p><p>You need to let J know how this hurts you, and tell her that you cannot stay sane and be her therapist through this issue. So in the future if seh needs to talk about Scott, she should go to a friend or therapist or her dad. Not to you. You don't want her to hurt, but you MUST stay sane and this is your kryptonite. I promise that even if she gets mad and blows up at you, she will come back to you. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is so painful, and I do understand. You can do nothing about ex's behavior except make sure you do not listen to him discussing Scott. I would tell him that Scott only wants his money, but he won't care. At his age, with so few ties to anyone, he cannot admit this although he probably knows it already. </p><p></p><p>You have to get to that alanon meeting. There are lots of them at different times. If you need help finding one, pm me. I can help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 592390, member: 1233"] MWM, Will you do a huge favor for me? Go to the bookstore or amazon and get a copy of Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. there is also a workbook by the same people that goes with it. Read the book and do the exercises. PLEASE. I am BEGGING you. It. Will. Change. Your. Life. For. The. Amazing. I am totally serious. You cannot change others. You can change how you react to them. That is what you control. You are so totally and adult child that I think sometimes you are like a long lost sister who grew up with the same dysfunctional koi that I did. And in many ways, real ways, you are. I am an adult grandchild, like Julie is. I am also the daughter of a man with aspergers or something close enough to it to be the same thing. Except my dad is a lot less clueless about things that hurt people because he spent almost forty years teaching kids. You HAVE to figure out feelings to do that. You need to let J know how this hurts you, and tell her that you cannot stay sane and be her therapist through this issue. So in the future if seh needs to talk about Scott, she should go to a friend or therapist or her dad. Not to you. You don't want her to hurt, but you MUST stay sane and this is your kryptonite. I promise that even if she gets mad and blows up at you, she will come back to you. I am sorry this is so painful, and I do understand. You can do nothing about ex's behavior except make sure you do not listen to him discussing Scott. I would tell him that Scott only wants his money, but he won't care. At his age, with so few ties to anyone, he cannot admit this although he probably knows it already. You have to get to that alanon meeting. There are lots of them at different times. If you need help finding one, pm me. I can help. [/QUOTE]
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My ex hurting all of us by talking about his great relationship with Scott
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