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Parent Emeritus
My "grown" kid (cough, cough) has lost his mind and scares me
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 568746" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am very proud of you. So often moms will recognize abusive behavior coming from our adult kids but we still go to them or allow them in our homes or otherwise put ourselves at their mercy. We know, rationally, that they are out of line and may hurt us physically or emotionally, but we still put ourselves in that position. We feel we 'must' or we 'owe' something to them just because they are our children. So we put ourselves in harm's way with our kids in ways we would never ever do with anyone else.</p><p></p><p>By not going you are doing the hardest thing but the right thing. there is no way you can EVER help him if you end up hurt and he either goes to jail over it or you don't report it and he thinks it was 'no big deal' and just gets worse.</p><p></p><p>You have other children and a husband and communities that love you and need you, and this board family is part of that. So I am proud that you set this boundary (no matter how you explain it to him - giving him the truth is worthless here if it just makes him shut down and/or turn on you) and are going to stick to it. I pray he gets back on medications and will see a therapist.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 568746, member: 1233"] I am very proud of you. So often moms will recognize abusive behavior coming from our adult kids but we still go to them or allow them in our homes or otherwise put ourselves at their mercy. We know, rationally, that they are out of line and may hurt us physically or emotionally, but we still put ourselves in that position. We feel we 'must' or we 'owe' something to them just because they are our children. So we put ourselves in harm's way with our kids in ways we would never ever do with anyone else. By not going you are doing the hardest thing but the right thing. there is no way you can EVER help him if you end up hurt and he either goes to jail over it or you don't report it and he thinks it was 'no big deal' and just gets worse. You have other children and a husband and communities that love you and need you, and this board family is part of that. So I am proud that you set this boundary (no matter how you explain it to him - giving him the truth is worthless here if it just makes him shut down and/or turn on you) and are going to stick to it. I pray he gets back on medications and will see a therapist. [/QUOTE]
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My "grown" kid (cough, cough) has lost his mind and scares me
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