on me. She has been hospitalized twice this fall for depression (her history is a lot of hospitalizations over the years but not usually this close together).
She just got out this Thursday. I talked to her yesterday and told when we came for Christmastime this year we would spend a long afternoon and then head back as difficult child is having a difficult time right now. Usually due to dividing time up between her and my dad we only get a short afternoon but Dad and his wife are staying longer at Thanksgiving so we'll celebrate Christmas then and not see them closer to the holidays.
Of course, she said that wasn't long enough and I told her it was all I could do right now. She went in to how he probably wasn't doing so well because of all the traveling we did to Michigan this Fall. She doesn't get that when we go there it's a break-we rarely see difficult child. At her place we are in a small apt. and she upsets difficult child, easy child, husband, and me. Nothing I ever do is good enough and she still talks to difficult child like he is a baby.
Then she proceeds to tell me that a part of the reason she is depressed is because of me. She says we don't come to visit enough and that we often argue on the phone. (She gets upset if I don't agree with everything she says and ends up getting offended-it's not shouting matches). She did say that she knows I can't cause her depression but that she gets depressed because of it.
Geesh-like I don't have enough going on! I told my therapist what happened and she says I am setting healthy boundaries with my mom. I think she's right but I'm still feeling guilty (although not enough to change my plans).
Sorry this got so long-I just needed to get this out. I hate feeling like a bad daughter!
She just got out this Thursday. I talked to her yesterday and told when we came for Christmastime this year we would spend a long afternoon and then head back as difficult child is having a difficult time right now. Usually due to dividing time up between her and my dad we only get a short afternoon but Dad and his wife are staying longer at Thanksgiving so we'll celebrate Christmas then and not see them closer to the holidays.
Of course, she said that wasn't long enough and I told her it was all I could do right now. She went in to how he probably wasn't doing so well because of all the traveling we did to Michigan this Fall. She doesn't get that when we go there it's a break-we rarely see difficult child. At her place we are in a small apt. and she upsets difficult child, easy child, husband, and me. Nothing I ever do is good enough and she still talks to difficult child like he is a baby.
Then she proceeds to tell me that a part of the reason she is depressed is because of me. She says we don't come to visit enough and that we often argue on the phone. (She gets upset if I don't agree with everything she says and ends up getting offended-it's not shouting matches). She did say that she knows I can't cause her depression but that she gets depressed because of it.
Geesh-like I don't have enough going on! I told my therapist what happened and she says I am setting healthy boundaries with my mom. I think she's right but I'm still feeling guilty (although not enough to change my plans).
Sorry this got so long-I just needed to get this out. I hate feeling like a bad daughter!