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my mother-long! rant! warning.
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 599426" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Unlike the others I have not walked in your shoes. My Mother did what she had to do and sometimes she enjoyed doing it.</p><p>Times were different and really she had few options even though she did have a college degree and could have spent years developing some independence. Instead her life was raising four children, maintaining a home and trying to keep up with my much adored Daddy. A husband who had many weaknesses unbeknowst to us children. As they say in old novels, "she made her bed and she slept on it." </p><p></p><p>I married young and tried to do my best. In some areas I was successful (my children all saw me as near perfect) but as the years went by my life got more and more complicated and difficult. I'm still not sure where I should have jigged but chose to jog. I'm still shocked that one of my easy child sons rarely calls and visits once or twice a year for a day or two.</p><p></p><p>While I realize my post is "not on target" with your issues there is a commonality. Even though you are very young in my humble opinion you need to convince yourself that you have no purposely done anything to cause this problem. In fact you likely have tried your best to solve issues that are beyond your control. I suggest that you spend some quiet moments reviewing the Serenity Prayer. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the <strong>wisdom</strong> to know the difference."</p><p></p><p>That simple prayers (used at AA) says it all to me. It does not make everything honky dorry. There will still be times when you feel torn. BUT if you can embrace the message it allows you to disengage from painful disappointing past expereinces and frees you to model your current life based on what you know in your gut is best for you and yours. I hope that you will soon find your negative emotions replaced with hopeful goals for the future. in my humble opinion you are outstanding and deserve your life to be based on what is happening in 2013 and beyond. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 599426, member: 35"] Unlike the others I have not walked in your shoes. My Mother did what she had to do and sometimes she enjoyed doing it. Times were different and really she had few options even though she did have a college degree and could have spent years developing some independence. Instead her life was raising four children, maintaining a home and trying to keep up with my much adored Daddy. A husband who had many weaknesses unbeknowst to us children. As they say in old novels, "she made her bed and she slept on it." I married young and tried to do my best. In some areas I was successful (my children all saw me as near perfect) but as the years went by my life got more and more complicated and difficult. I'm still not sure where I should have jigged but chose to jog. I'm still shocked that one of my easy child sons rarely calls and visits once or twice a year for a day or two. While I realize my post is "not on target" with your issues there is a commonality. Even though you are very young in my humble opinion you need to convince yourself that you have no purposely done anything to cause this problem. In fact you likely have tried your best to solve issues that are beyond your control. I suggest that you spend some quiet moments reviewing the Serenity Prayer. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the [B]wisdom[/B] to know the difference." That simple prayers (used at AA) says it all to me. It does not make everything honky dorry. There will still be times when you feel torn. BUT if you can embrace the message it allows you to disengage from painful disappointing past expereinces and frees you to model your current life based on what you know in your gut is best for you and yours. I hope that you will soon find your negative emotions replaced with hopeful goals for the future. in my humble opinion you are outstanding and deserve your life to be based on what is happening in 2013 and beyond. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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