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My neighbors have a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 476738" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Oh I had my moments where I yelled at my son, too, and I didn't consider him a difficult child or difficult child then. But it didn't happen every three days for typical misbehavior. Now, maybe their difficult child is pushing boundaries when they are telling him to come in the house- I never hear the kid yelling out so maybe he's just refusing by not doing it. Understandably, this would be frustrating to a parent. on the other hand, the yelling I hear from the father is "why do I keep having to tell you ABC", "I'm sick and tired of you not doing what I tell you", "if you don't do ABC right now, you are going to get worse because you have gotten my attention now", "why do you keep doing things this when I have told you not to so many times already". Things any of us could say when the kid has pushed us over the brink- but does that normally happen every 3 days if you are the parent of a young difficult child? I don't think it should happen so often if it isn't a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Another thing, when the parents started telling me about their son being 'difficult', the boy walked up to them and was then in earshot. They kept on about him being 'beyond difficult', saying things like they didn't know how they were going to make it with this one 'if he gets any worse', how bad he is, etc- things I don't think I have ever said in front of my son unless I was 'over the top' and angry with him and then it was a poor choice of words to him- not to others in front of him- and when I lost my temper and said things I didn't think I should have, I later apologized. I know, not the same as never saying it but at least he was old enough to understand that words said in anger aren't necessarily a person's true feelings. He didn't grow up hearing a parent say they felt things like that about him- and the parents weren't angry when they were telling someone this.</p><p></p><p>Am I just going to have to get used to this happening?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 476738, member: 3699"] Oh I had my moments where I yelled at my son, too, and I didn't consider him a difficult child or difficult child then. But it didn't happen every three days for typical misbehavior. Now, maybe their difficult child is pushing boundaries when they are telling him to come in the house- I never hear the kid yelling out so maybe he's just refusing by not doing it. Understandably, this would be frustrating to a parent. on the other hand, the yelling I hear from the father is "why do I keep having to tell you ABC", "I'm sick and tired of you not doing what I tell you", "if you don't do ABC right now, you are going to get worse because you have gotten my attention now", "why do you keep doing things this when I have told you not to so many times already". Things any of us could say when the kid has pushed us over the brink- but does that normally happen every 3 days if you are the parent of a young difficult child? I don't think it should happen so often if it isn't a difficult child. Another thing, when the parents started telling me about their son being 'difficult', the boy walked up to them and was then in earshot. They kept on about him being 'beyond difficult', saying things like they didn't know how they were going to make it with this one 'if he gets any worse', how bad he is, etc- things I don't think I have ever said in front of my son unless I was 'over the top' and angry with him and then it was a poor choice of words to him- not to others in front of him- and when I lost my temper and said things I didn't think I should have, I later apologized. I know, not the same as never saying it but at least he was old enough to understand that words said in anger aren't necessarily a person's true feelings. He didn't grow up hearing a parent say they felt things like that about him- and the parents weren't angry when they were telling someone this. Am I just going to have to get used to this happening? [/QUOTE]
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