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Substance Abuse
My niece...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649274" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Point blank question to Christians and others.</p><p></p><p>I can understand the idea of letting go as in throwing out the garbage and not allowing it in your life anymore.</p><p></p><p>How would you forgive a mother who refused to speak to you for twenty years and tried to sabatage your relationships with everybody in the family and would not make peace with you even though you have repeatedly tried, in fact gone overboard trying. In the end, she died and it didn't end there. She disinherited me and I was not mentioned as her child in her obituary per her wishes. She would not see me or even tell me what I did that offended her so much.She was deliberately malicious and never was that way to the other two kids, but that is how my family of origin works. She also did successfully turn the family against me, although, of course, they have free will and did not have to side with her, but I don't think anyone else wanted her malice so they sided with her. It was easiaer and more lucrative than being disinherited.</p><p></p><p>How would you forgive that? Why should you, if you can go on with your life with the attitude that I can't control how she was and it was toxic so live and let live. Mone on. I do not have an unhappy life. In fact, I feel very blessed at this point in time. I have so much love from so many people I care about. She is insignificant now. Since she asked for nothing and wanted nothing from me, except for me to hurt, why would YOU, if this were you, forgive her? Is it because of how Christians believe Jesus forgives you no matter what you've done? </p><p></p><p>I'd especially like to hear from non-Christians who still have a higher power in their lives. Nobody has ever answered this question in a way that I could understand it. It is one thing if the parent is flawed, even VERY flawed, but felt badly and tried later on. But this was never the case. I find it irrational to forgive my mother, whom I believe I will meet again one day, then maybe we will both have a better understanding of everything. But for now, how would YOU forgive such a parent? What would you say to yourself? Remember, I am not stewing over her, but I don't feel she was a good person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649274, member: 1550"] Point blank question to Christians and others. I can understand the idea of letting go as in throwing out the garbage and not allowing it in your life anymore. How would you forgive a mother who refused to speak to you for twenty years and tried to sabatage your relationships with everybody in the family and would not make peace with you even though you have repeatedly tried, in fact gone overboard trying. In the end, she died and it didn't end there. She disinherited me and I was not mentioned as her child in her obituary per her wishes. She would not see me or even tell me what I did that offended her so much.She was deliberately malicious and never was that way to the other two kids, but that is how my family of origin works. She also did successfully turn the family against me, although, of course, they have free will and did not have to side with her, but I don't think anyone else wanted her malice so they sided with her. It was easiaer and more lucrative than being disinherited. How would you forgive that? Why should you, if you can go on with your life with the attitude that I can't control how she was and it was toxic so live and let live. Mone on. I do not have an unhappy life. In fact, I feel very blessed at this point in time. I have so much love from so many people I care about. She is insignificant now. Since she asked for nothing and wanted nothing from me, except for me to hurt, why would YOU, if this were you, forgive her? Is it because of how Christians believe Jesus forgives you no matter what you've done? I'd especially like to hear from non-Christians who still have a higher power in their lives. Nobody has ever answered this question in a way that I could understand it. It is one thing if the parent is flawed, even VERY flawed, but felt badly and tried later on. But this was never the case. I find it irrational to forgive my mother, whom I believe I will meet again one day, then maybe we will both have a better understanding of everything. But for now, how would YOU forgive such a parent? What would you say to yourself? Remember, I am not stewing over her, but I don't feel she was a good person. [/QUOTE]
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