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Parent Emeritus
My only son.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649127" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I also believe we can't control anybody in the world except ourselves and that some people are just born with a difficult temperament and some have differently wired thinking. Since one can have five children, like I started out with (see GoneBoy in my signature) and they all turned out differently and in different ways, I don't think it's our parenting. I think it's how they are born to react to the world...lots of DNA...and that we can't change their different thinking. Now, THEY can realize they are different and decide to change, which requires hard work and lots and lots and lots of therapy, but five kids can have the same experience and all turn out differently. </p><p></p><p>The problem with enabling is that it does not give our differently wired adult children a reason to want to change and often this is while they are disrespecting everyone they live with by stealing, cussing us out, even attacking us. </p><p></p><p>If anything, those who made it to this board are exceptional, involved parents who did all they could for their children while they were growing up, including teaching them, nurturing them, and offering them lots of help. "Normal" teens look forward to independence from us and growing up. The adult kids who bring us to thins forum don't want to be independent. They seem to want us to support them forever. There is a lot in common amongst these adult kids!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649127, member: 1550"] Well, I also believe we can't control anybody in the world except ourselves and that some people are just born with a difficult temperament and some have differently wired thinking. Since one can have five children, like I started out with (see GoneBoy in my signature) and they all turned out differently and in different ways, I don't think it's our parenting. I think it's how they are born to react to the world...lots of DNA...and that we can't change their different thinking. Now, THEY can realize they are different and decide to change, which requires hard work and lots and lots and lots of therapy, but five kids can have the same experience and all turn out differently. The problem with enabling is that it does not give our differently wired adult children a reason to want to change and often this is while they are disrespecting everyone they live with by stealing, cussing us out, even attacking us. If anything, those who made it to this board are exceptional, involved parents who did all they could for their children while they were growing up, including teaching them, nurturing them, and offering them lots of help. "Normal" teens look forward to independence from us and growing up. The adult kids who bring us to thins forum don't want to be independent. They seem to want us to support them forever. There is a lot in common amongst these adult kids! [/QUOTE]
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