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The Watercooler
My sister and Paddington Bear
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 129136" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Thanks.........</p><p>Last night I thought about setting up a website for me to journal what I would say to her if she were just a phone call away, like she always has been. I thought maybe, with some glimmer of hope, she would read it. I have a desperate need to talk to her - and maybe - just maybe she would be out there - and read it. Then again - I don't know.</p><p> </p><p>All of this is so mind numbing, body numbing, brain numbing - I can barely remember what she was like right now. There are so many scenarios to consider of what could of happened - and truthfully - I am losing my sense of sisterly intuition. I had it when I was up there, in her home, with her dog - it was like she was standing right next to me - telling me what to do next. Now that I am home - I am lost, alone, and dead inside.</p><p> </p><p>I guess that is the bodies way of coping with stress, to go numb. Which is fine. Except I feel like an alien in my body. I don't even know what day of the week it is when people ask - or what the weather will be like - or if I paid the bills. </p><p> </p><p>I really cannot imagine what could have happened, or why.</p><p> </p><p>And the thing is - is that if she had scripted how something like her going missing would play out in life according to her philosophies and theories on life - it is being acted out to a tee. It is the most surreal thing to watch. Everything she believed about our parents, and the judicial system, and abuse and power - is being acted out exactly as she would have predicted. In that sense, I can't help but smirk - because I can hear her saying I told you so Willow - I told you so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 129136, member: 3301"] Thanks......... Last night I thought about setting up a website for me to journal what I would say to her if she were just a phone call away, like she always has been. I thought maybe, with some glimmer of hope, she would read it. I have a desperate need to talk to her - and maybe - just maybe she would be out there - and read it. Then again - I don't know. All of this is so mind numbing, body numbing, brain numbing - I can barely remember what she was like right now. There are so many scenarios to consider of what could of happened - and truthfully - I am losing my sense of sisterly intuition. I had it when I was up there, in her home, with her dog - it was like she was standing right next to me - telling me what to do next. Now that I am home - I am lost, alone, and dead inside. I guess that is the bodies way of coping with stress, to go numb. Which is fine. Except I feel like an alien in my body. I don't even know what day of the week it is when people ask - or what the weather will be like - or if I paid the bills. I really cannot imagine what could have happened, or why. And the thing is - is that if she had scripted how something like her going missing would play out in life according to her philosophies and theories on life - it is being acted out to a tee. It is the most surreal thing to watch. Everything she believed about our parents, and the judicial system, and abuse and power - is being acted out exactly as she would have predicted. In that sense, I can't help but smirk - because I can hear her saying I told you so Willow - I told you so. [/QUOTE]
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My sister and Paddington Bear
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