We adopted my 11 year old when he was 3. He was the model child until a couple years ago. He started having violent outbursts. We took him to counselors, doctors, anyone who we thought could help. We also have 2 bio children who are younger. The day after Thanksgiving, adopted child announces he wants to hurt himself and others. We call his counselor who advises us to take him to the hospital. He was baker acted and spent a week inpatient. In December, I woke up to smoke. Hubby was at work. The kids and I got out of the house and called 911. When the fire marshall came, my oldest admitted he'd started the fire. He was baker acted again and spent Christmas and New Year's in the mental ward. He came home a few days after New Year's and it was terrible. The last straw was when he pulled a knife out of the knife block in the kitchen and told his father he would stab him. He went back to the hospital. They recommended long-term treatment. The only place our insurance covers is 9 hours away. A few days later, he is transported to the new facility... where he still is today. He's been gone since January 21st. The doctors there have tried a couple different medications (abilify, then risperdal) but nothing is really helping much. He's made lists of people he wants to kill and makes plans to do it. He cusses at the staff and threatens other patients. They haven't set a release date but think maybe August or September. I'll be honest - I don't want him to come home. I don't think I could ever feel safe with him here. I'm worried about the safety of my two other children who are younger and smaller than him. My younger two are both in counseling because of the trauma of losing our house. We've spent over $100,000 since December, replacing things we've lost and paying copays for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Additionally, the insurance company is refusing to pay since the fire was intentionally started by a minor. The fire marshall isn't charging him with arson, thankfully. I don't know what to do. I don't know what our options are. We can't make the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) keep him till he ages out. But we can't put our other two at risk of being hurt or killed. I feel like when there are school shootings we always see the parents and public saying "We just didn't see this coming..." Well, we see it coming. But we don't know what we can do to stop it. I don't think we can surrender custody without it jeopardizing all 3 kids. We don't want to be charged with abandonment. Any help or advice is appreciated!