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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed....
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 693186" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Thanks DP for your perspective as always, very informative, a heartfelt look from the other side of the struggle.</p><p>My two have not even ventured towards rehab. I am not giving up hope, just learning to not be so vested in whatever comes around the corner.</p><p>It is a hard journey for all of us, the constant desperation taking a daily toll, as you shared, from <em>both sides of this recurring nightmare called addiction.</em></p><p>Where to find that balance between loving someone with heart and soul when they are on a path to self destruct? How do we go on about our lives with the reality looming over us? It is a grieving of the hardest sort, different in every way from losing a loved one in death. There is a finality in that. It is hard enough to live with that loss, but with this, with our d cs, they are still here on earth. There are so many different shades to this sort of grief. While using, our love for them becomes a weapon turned against us. The lies, manipulation, and theft. It is not so much theft of property, <em>things</em> are replaceable, but that becomes a theft of trust, then it is the theft of our peace of mind and soul that is most egregious.</p><p>Though in the throes of using and cycling through rehab/relapse an addicted adult child may not mean to hurt their loved ones, but we are taken on this horror ride that <em>we never bought a ticket for or ever imagined would be happening.</em></p><p>It takes tremendous effort to carry on with some sense of normalcy while our beloveds are on this path. To work past it, while on bended knee we beg for relief and peace.</p><p>RN, I am sorry if my previous post was harsh. I think I am writing to myself at the same time, to not put all my eggs in that basket again. To stay focused and not get sucked into the pit of despair. To hold my distance, but have compassion. To not go so far to the other side and become cynical and calloused.</p><p>My heart goes out to yours dear one. To have your son so close and then have the rug yanked out from under you. I am so sorry for the pain of this. To run the tapes of what could have happened if he did not have help when he od'd. I am praying that your son finds the strength within him to continue to fight the fight.</p><p>I am glad that you are seeing a therapist. Having rapport with a professional helped me. I had hit rock bottom and was entirely consumed with what was happening with my two. I am saddened by their choices and lifestyle, but learning to draw the line. I have to, it is survival for me, and my son.</p><p>Working to keep that balance is a daily job.</p><p>Holding you and my thoughts and prayers warrior mom.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 693186, member: 19522"] Thanks DP for your perspective as always, very informative, a heartfelt look from the other side of the struggle. My two have not even ventured towards rehab. I am not giving up hope, just learning to not be so vested in whatever comes around the corner. It is a hard journey for all of us, the constant desperation taking a daily toll, as you shared, from [I]both sides of this recurring nightmare called addiction.[/I] Where to find that balance between loving someone with heart and soul when they are on a path to self destruct? How do we go on about our lives with the reality looming over us? It is a grieving of the hardest sort, different in every way from losing a loved one in death. There is a finality in that. It is hard enough to live with that loss, but with this, with our d cs, they are still here on earth. There are so many different shades to this sort of grief. While using, our love for them becomes a weapon turned against us. The lies, manipulation, and theft. It is not so much theft of property, [I]things[/I] are replaceable, but that becomes a theft of trust, then it is the theft of our peace of mind and soul that is most egregious. Though in the throes of using and cycling through rehab/relapse an addicted adult child may not mean to hurt their loved ones, but we are taken on this horror ride that [I]we never bought a ticket for or ever imagined would be happening.[/I] It takes tremendous effort to carry on with some sense of normalcy while our beloveds are on this path. To work past it, while on bended knee we beg for relief and peace. RN, I am sorry if my previous post was harsh. I think I am writing to myself at the same time, to not put all my eggs in that basket again. To stay focused and not get sucked into the pit of despair. To hold my distance, but have compassion. To not go so far to the other side and become cynical and calloused. My heart goes out to yours dear one. To have your son so close and then have the rug yanked out from under you. I am so sorry for the pain of this. To run the tapes of what could have happened if he did not have help when he od'd. I am praying that your son finds the strength within him to continue to fight the fight. I am glad that you are seeing a therapist. Having rapport with a professional helped me. I had hit rock bottom and was entirely consumed with what was happening with my two. I am saddened by their choices and lifestyle, but learning to draw the line. I have to, it is survival for me, and my son. Working to keep that balance is a daily job. Holding you and my thoughts and prayers warrior mom. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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