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Substance Abuse
My son relapsed....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 694367" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I envy you your kids.</p><p>I understand this completely. This is what I did with my mother. And then when she died the wall collapsed. I could not accept that for almost 40 years I had built a wall when I loved her more than I had loved myself. One hundred times more.</p><p>That is what happened when she died. Except it was a torrent--an avalanche of feelings and it was too late to do anything to change my life. She was gone.</p><p>This is a realistic hope, I believe. She very well might decide. I guess that is what I really think. I think that all of us live lives that on one level fantasies. The reality of most of our lives is desperate and inevitably harsh and defeated. After all, we work and struggle, for what? When we die in the end. Usually a degraded, lonely and difficult death.</p><p></p><p>Maybe people like your sister are the realists of the world. I believe she will decide one day to stay sober. It will not be a question of hope or strength. It will be about integrity and love, qualities she appears to have in spades. Like you, too, SK. And I guess me too.</p><p>On the contrary, SK.</p><p></p><p>I have done this for 20 years off an on. And the funny thing is this. I am seeing a change in the custody officers. More and more of them are sweet and kind!! You could have blown me away with a feather. So, at least in CA there may be a change away from the chain gang kind of mentality to one where even some of the custody staff seem to have nothing to prove.</p><p></p><p>SK. I am hopeful for your sister. These posts have been good for me. Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 694367, member: 18958"] I envy you your kids. I understand this completely. This is what I did with my mother. And then when she died the wall collapsed. I could not accept that for almost 40 years I had built a wall when I loved her more than I had loved myself. One hundred times more. That is what happened when she died. Except it was a torrent--an avalanche of feelings and it was too late to do anything to change my life. She was gone. This is a realistic hope, I believe. She very well might decide. I guess that is what I really think. I think that all of us live lives that on one level fantasies. The reality of most of our lives is desperate and inevitably harsh and defeated. After all, we work and struggle, for what? When we die in the end. Usually a degraded, lonely and difficult death. Maybe people like your sister are the realists of the world. I believe she will decide one day to stay sober. It will not be a question of hope or strength. It will be about integrity and love, qualities she appears to have in spades. Like you, too, SK. And I guess me too. On the contrary, SK. I have done this for 20 years off an on. And the funny thing is this. I am seeing a change in the custody officers. More and more of them are sweet and kind!! You could have blown me away with a feather. So, at least in CA there may be a change away from the chain gang kind of mentality to one where even some of the custody staff seem to have nothing to prove. SK. I am hopeful for your sister. These posts have been good for me. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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