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My worst nightmare has happened
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 597683" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I have not been in your situation but I'm sure it is very difficult to detach. But that is something you will need to do both for your sake and also for your daughter. She has made some choices that will make her life more difficult and of course it is impossible to say, how she will continue to lead her life. But do remember, that for many little lost young women becoming a mom has been a turning point.</p><p></p><p>She has been capable to lot in past. Working and going school, saving up to her car, being independent, they are not small accomplishments. The baby may well be a thing that makes her motivated to turn her life around. It doesn't always happen, but what I have seen, quite often the girls, who were doing okay before they met a loser boyfriend,and started to get trouble after that, do turn their life around (and ditch a loser) after they have a baby. I do hope that would happen also to your daughter.</p><p></p><p>And even if it doesn't, you have every right to demand that you will only have a traditional grandmother's role in your grandchild's life. Because your daughter is already independent, it likely is what she wants too (wanting of course don't equal being able to make it true, but it is likely she will at least try.) But you have every reason and right to be frank of this with her. That while you would had hoped she would have waited longer before getting children, you of course want to be a granny and get to know your grandchild. And you are happy to buy the child few cute outfits and some other presents and when child is little older, you can babysit every now and then for few hours or have a child visit over night, when you have time. But that you are not financing their life, nor are you taking care of the baby all the time. She is capable young woman and you have a lot of faith for her managing it on her own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 597683, member: 14557"] I have not been in your situation but I'm sure it is very difficult to detach. But that is something you will need to do both for your sake and also for your daughter. She has made some choices that will make her life more difficult and of course it is impossible to say, how she will continue to lead her life. But do remember, that for many little lost young women becoming a mom has been a turning point. She has been capable to lot in past. Working and going school, saving up to her car, being independent, they are not small accomplishments. The baby may well be a thing that makes her motivated to turn her life around. It doesn't always happen, but what I have seen, quite often the girls, who were doing okay before they met a loser boyfriend,and started to get trouble after that, do turn their life around (and ditch a loser) after they have a baby. I do hope that would happen also to your daughter. And even if it doesn't, you have every right to demand that you will only have a traditional grandmother's role in your grandchild's life. Because your daughter is already independent, it likely is what she wants too (wanting of course don't equal being able to make it true, but it is likely she will at least try.) But you have every reason and right to be frank of this with her. That while you would had hoped she would have waited longer before getting children, you of course want to be a granny and get to know your grandchild. And you are happy to buy the child few cute outfits and some other presents and when child is little older, you can babysit every now and then for few hours or have a child visit over night, when you have time. But that you are not financing their life, nor are you taking care of the baby all the time. She is capable young woman and you have a lot of faith for her managing it on her own. [/QUOTE]
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