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Parent Emeritus
My worst nightmare has happened
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 597851" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Welcome to the board. Glad that you are finding comfort and good advice here already. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that your daughter has made some very poor choices for herself. I think this about my son too. But they are her choices to make and that doesn't make you responsible when she makes the wrong choice or a choice that is going to make her life more difficult. You can be there to offer motherly advice, babysit sometimes, spoil the baby on its birthday and holidays - you don't have to take on the mothering duties of this new life. </p><p></p><p>I'm also sorry that your daughter has you questioning your parenting skills. The only reason I say this is because you reiterate often that you were a good mother and you are a good person. I'm not sure if you are reassuring us or yourself. You won't get any bashing here though - we've all made mistakes but we've also all been the best parents we can be from the day our children took their first breath and even before that. </p><p></p><p>It is time to take care of you. Be good to yourself, you've been through a difficult life and have experienced so much heartbreak with your child. You deserve to be happy and to be kind to yourself and to have some rest and peace as well.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. I hope you hear from your daughter soon and that you do as Suzir suggested and tell her that this isn't the choice you hoped she'd make but that you understand she is happy and expecting a child and you want to be there to love this child like the wonderful grandmother you will be (in a grandmother role not a parental role). Judging by her independent attitude I think she'll do everything possible to make this work without your help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 597851, member: 14356"] Welcome to the board. Glad that you are finding comfort and good advice here already. I am so sorry that your daughter has made some very poor choices for herself. I think this about my son too. But they are her choices to make and that doesn't make you responsible when she makes the wrong choice or a choice that is going to make her life more difficult. You can be there to offer motherly advice, babysit sometimes, spoil the baby on its birthday and holidays - you don't have to take on the mothering duties of this new life. I'm also sorry that your daughter has you questioning your parenting skills. The only reason I say this is because you reiterate often that you were a good mother and you are a good person. I'm not sure if you are reassuring us or yourself. You won't get any bashing here though - we've all made mistakes but we've also all been the best parents we can be from the day our children took their first breath and even before that. It is time to take care of you. Be good to yourself, you've been through a difficult life and have experienced so much heartbreak with your child. You deserve to be happy and to be kind to yourself and to have some rest and peace as well. Hugs to you. I hope you hear from your daughter soon and that you do as Suzir suggested and tell her that this isn't the choice you hoped she'd make but that you understand she is happy and expecting a child and you want to be there to love this child like the wonderful grandmother you will be (in a grandmother role not a parental role). Judging by her independent attitude I think she'll do everything possible to make this work without your help. [/QUOTE]
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My worst nightmare has happened
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