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My worst nightmare has happened
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<blockquote data-quote="sad in the south" data-source="post: 598424" data-attributes="member: 16439"><p>You guys are awesome! I am taking advice from each of your replys. I went to a therapist on Thursday and will continue until I am seeing a bit of light at the end of this dark tunnel. It is funny though.. the therapist is basically telling me what everyone on this forum is also advising.... for free! LOL! I am also looking into groups that several of you have suggested. There are no FA meetings in my area (west coast of Florida) unfortunately. I will ask my therapist about any other groups she can suggest. </p><p></p><p>Trying my hardest to detach. I am going to let my difficult child contact me if she need me. Soooo hard to do. I am so worried about her health and financial situation. </p><p></p><p>Didn't mean to be over dramatic with my worst nightmare title. In the real world 19 year old daughters who get pregnant on purpose happens but it has been a very looooooong road with my difficult child especially the last 3 years which have been one surprise crisis after another. Her life right now is not even remotely close to what I had hoped and worked so hard for it to be. I know everyone on this forum can relate to that. </p><p></p><p> I had pleaded with her over and over to not get pregnant, I would and did pay for dr appts, birth control pills, etc. and it was simply the last straw that I know without a doubt that she got pregnant on purpose and now she is making me feel guilty and accusing me of throwing away my daughter because she is not perfect and this is my GRANDCHILD (her capitals).</p><p></p><p> Everytime I had to deal with another of her crisises that she hid from me (lied) until it was out of control, I always made it thru by telling myself to deal with it and this too shall passs and she still could overcome (fill in the blank) and recover and still have a good life. But I felt that if she had a child, then that "mistake" doesn't go away. And I knew I just would not have the strength to stand by and not help my daughter or grandchild if they were suffering or needed help and I would end up putting myself second and taking care of her child. And here I am..... So yes, she didn't kill herself or someone else, she isn't a vegetable in a coma, and I am grateful for that. But I have been taking care of other people and putting myself second (gladly for my kids, I don't regret that at all) but I was really looking forward to taking some things off my plate once my kids were adults. I dont even want the responsibility of a dog or cat!</p><p></p><p></p><p>the quote, If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, is my mantra. Gotta get a pillow with that stitched on it. Anywaay, gotta get ready to go to my second job at Macys... big sale today, ladies!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sad in the south, post: 598424, member: 16439"] You guys are awesome! I am taking advice from each of your replys. I went to a therapist on Thursday and will continue until I am seeing a bit of light at the end of this dark tunnel. It is funny though.. the therapist is basically telling me what everyone on this forum is also advising.... for free! LOL! I am also looking into groups that several of you have suggested. There are no FA meetings in my area (west coast of Florida) unfortunately. I will ask my therapist about any other groups she can suggest. Trying my hardest to detach. I am going to let my difficult child contact me if she need me. Soooo hard to do. I am so worried about her health and financial situation. Didn't mean to be over dramatic with my worst nightmare title. In the real world 19 year old daughters who get pregnant on purpose happens but it has been a very looooooong road with my difficult child especially the last 3 years which have been one surprise crisis after another. Her life right now is not even remotely close to what I had hoped and worked so hard for it to be. I know everyone on this forum can relate to that. I had pleaded with her over and over to not get pregnant, I would and did pay for dr appts, birth control pills, etc. and it was simply the last straw that I know without a doubt that she got pregnant on purpose and now she is making me feel guilty and accusing me of throwing away my daughter because she is not perfect and this is my GRANDCHILD (her capitals). Everytime I had to deal with another of her crisises that she hid from me (lied) until it was out of control, I always made it thru by telling myself to deal with it and this too shall passs and she still could overcome (fill in the blank) and recover and still have a good life. But I felt that if she had a child, then that "mistake" doesn't go away. And I knew I just would not have the strength to stand by and not help my daughter or grandchild if they were suffering or needed help and I would end up putting myself second and taking care of her child. And here I am..... So yes, she didn't kill herself or someone else, she isn't a vegetable in a coma, and I am grateful for that. But I have been taking care of other people and putting myself second (gladly for my kids, I don't regret that at all) but I was really looking forward to taking some things off my plate once my kids were adults. I dont even want the responsibility of a dog or cat! the quote, If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, is my mantra. Gotta get a pillow with that stitched on it. Anywaay, gotta get ready to go to my second job at Macys... big sale today, ladies! [/QUOTE]
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