Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My worst nightmare has happened
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 598457" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Sad in the south, I just wanted to say a welcome to you.........I am away and not checking in as often however, I wanted to tell you what a good job you're doing, getting into therapy, checking on groups, that is the key I believe, to focus on yourself, put your energy and care back to YOU, you have been responsible for everyone for a long time, it's time to start to let go of those reigns NOW and learn the tools to detach so you can go on with your own life as your daughter continues to make poor choices. It is difficult with a grandchild. I know that from experience. I have a 40 year old difficult child and I am raising her 17 year old daughter. I too have been that responsible worrier all my life, making sure everyone's needs are met. I have a piece of advice for you from my own experience as a mother who has had to learn hard lessons about putting myself first..............you are the ONLY one who can change this situation for yourself, do whatever you need to do to shift this pattern around to make sure you are in the drivers seat taking care of <strong>you</strong>. It's a process to make that change, but it is not only possible, it is necessary for you and for your daughter too. It's an important detachment for you so that she can learn to be responsible for her own choices, bad as they may be. And, she may not learn too, which is why detachment is so important. Your life can't fly up and down and sideways because of her choices, don't allow that. You are powerless to change her choices. And, you needn't and shouldn't pay the price for them either. </p><p></p><p>It's very good that you have begun the process of detaching. I have not read all the other responses .........but I imagine you've received wonderful advice and support from our army of wise warrior parents..........You may want to check out the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. You've been at this care-giving/mothering thing alone for a long time, after awhile we forget how to take care of ourselves given the remarkable drama of our kids choices.............stay on your new track, take care of you, nurture yourself, love yourself, accept yourself and make sure your needs are met <strong>first</strong>, not last. I send you a warm welcome, caring hugs and always, wishes for peace.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 598457, member: 13542"] Sad in the south, I just wanted to say a welcome to you.........I am away and not checking in as often however, I wanted to tell you what a good job you're doing, getting into therapy, checking on groups, that is the key I believe, to focus on yourself, put your energy and care back to YOU, you have been responsible for everyone for a long time, it's time to start to let go of those reigns NOW and learn the tools to detach so you can go on with your own life as your daughter continues to make poor choices. It is difficult with a grandchild. I know that from experience. I have a 40 year old difficult child and I am raising her 17 year old daughter. I too have been that responsible worrier all my life, making sure everyone's needs are met. I have a piece of advice for you from my own experience as a mother who has had to learn hard lessons about putting myself first..............you are the ONLY one who can change this situation for yourself, do whatever you need to do to shift this pattern around to make sure you are in the drivers seat taking care of [B]you[/B]. It's a process to make that change, but it is not only possible, it is necessary for you and for your daughter too. It's an important detachment for you so that she can learn to be responsible for her own choices, bad as they may be. And, she may not learn too, which is why detachment is so important. Your life can't fly up and down and sideways because of her choices, don't allow that. You are powerless to change her choices. And, you needn't and shouldn't pay the price for them either. It's very good that you have begun the process of detaching. I have not read all the other responses .........but I imagine you've received wonderful advice and support from our army of wise warrior parents..........You may want to check out the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. You've been at this care-giving/mothering thing alone for a long time, after awhile we forget how to take care of ourselves given the remarkable drama of our kids choices.............stay on your new track, take care of you, nurture yourself, love yourself, accept yourself and make sure your needs are met [B]first[/B], not last. I send you a warm welcome, caring hugs and always, wishes for peace............. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My worst nightmare has happened
Top